So I'm a 23 year old male, very active at the gym, single, career is going well, studies are going well, life should be great but I feel empty, lonely and not confident. Everyone, even my parents are telling me to just have sex and have fun while I can but I find purely hookups and nothing else repulsive, and with this one instance I feel hopeless.
So I met this girl on Bumble and we started talking and she's absolutely gorgeous. For two hours we are talking on chat and you know, she has a great sense of humor, she's beautiful. She lives a bit far away, but still, like everything seems to be amazing. She likes my sort of autistic humor, which is very rare and she finds me attractive. She's the kind of girl that is so beautiful, you would think that she's AI or not real. Anyways, everything is going great. We've been nonstop talking for two hours. I verified her, she's not fake. And after two hours of talking, I asked her, what are you looking for on this app? And dead ass, she told me, oh, I only look for hookups and she's already fucking with multiple people. And she asked me, like, what are you looking for? And I'm like, well, I would like to get to know someone first. And you know, after that, I tried to joke that we can still meet if she is down. And just like that, silence, no response at all.
he thing is, I don't have a problem, like, if you meet someclub, and then you go home, you have the vibe, and then you sleep with her. I think that's casual, I think that's spontaneous. But to actively getting to know someone that you actually like as a person, to only sleep with, and have multiple people do that, that just, for some reason, does not fit into my brain. Also, if you sleep with someone, and the chemistry is there, you find them attractive, and you like their personality, then how the fuck would you not wanna date that person? I just don't get it. I know I'm a hopeless romantic, but still. This fucking sucks. I hate online dating, and I don't know if I'm being prude, or… The thing is, I'm very much in need of sexuality. I like rougher things, I like BDSM, um… But I don't wanna go on to a date with someone solely on the fact that it would be for fucking. You know, we can try fucking and everything, but like, in that case, the goal is not to only fuck, it's to get to know you.
Am I being just an idiot? Am I being just idiot who is afraid of commitment, or afraid of… Committing to sex alone… The thing is, having sex would be an amazing confidence boost, especially have sex with such a beautiful girl, but I just dont think Im cut out for that. When she told me that she only looks for hookups, my gut just dropped and it didn't feel right
.
What do you guys think, is there something wrong with me?
All my friends told me to hook up with her, but deep down I know that after that I would either:
A, Fall in love with someone I can't save (since she doesn't want to be saved, or have to be she can do whatever she feels like)
B, Regret it later
C, Have sex and have a great story to tell (But honestly, I don't think I could)