(Sorry for grammar, it’s late and I’m to tired to proof-read)
I’ve been having a rough time as of lately and I think a lot of it bottles down to being a very insecure and anxious person. What’s crazy is that I’ve already been to 3 years of intense trauma therapy, like dedicating 3 whole years to therapy entirely and the growth I’ve made is astounding, but yet I’m still struggling in some ways. Like I got a job last year and it’s amazing considering I wasn’t able to work for 4-5 years because of mental health, so that’s just a point to how much I’ve grown BUT….I’m still struggling with other things now.
I’m finding a lot of my problems are showing up at work and I’m starting to learn things about myself that I wasn’t even aware of before. I’m 26 btw, idk if that matters.
A lot of my problems come from work so I would really appreciate some solid advice I can read and look back on, I’m working the next 6 days so I’m really wanting some good advice or feedback!❤️
-I struggle to not give a fuck and seem to care way more than anyone else does. It’s clearly anxiety but it’s getting to the point where I having panic attacks and loosing sleep over minor mistakes at work
-I can’t stand up for myself and just allow coworkers to make comments or do shity things to me. It’s getting to the point where I’m crying at work (in private) out of pure frustration over how my body and mind physically cannot stand up for myself and I fawn/freeze
-I feel like I have this mask or wall up where I can’t be my authentic self and I’m instead wanting everyone to like me, I’m being a ‘pick-me’ without even realizing. It’s not the annoying type (well idk maybe it is) but it’s more the type where I’m constantly apologizing and making the other person happy at all costs by agreeing with them, laughing at their dumb jokes, taking their side, etc.
-I’m fixate over bad interactions at work and can’t let it go. A small, bad interaction is major to me and I feel so stupid having to explain why I’m using to someone and realizing how small and minor it was
-I want friends at work but my ‘pick me’ attitude is kind of ruining that and instead of allowing coworkers to ‘come to me’, I’m chasing and trying to insert myself