So basically 2 months ago i lost the love of my life because i couldnt convince myself having kids was a good idea.
One of the reasons was that i still want to discover the world and travel freely whenever i want.
We are currently selling the house. With the equity from that ill have about 200k including my investments and savings.
I do have to buy a condo but was thinking of putting about 125k down which still leaves me tons of wiggle room financially.
Im 40 and have a 9-5 office job with HUGE demand tjat will never be taken over by AI.
Two problems: im travelling at the moment. Im at a farm surrounded by rocky mountains and ive been crying all week because i miss my ex so much. We use to come to this spot together so its very nostalgic for me being here without her. It made me realize that im kinda scared travelling alone now because i was so used to travelling with my little ladybug that would follow me everywhere.
So 1) how do i get over this? I wanted to travel to europe this summer or norway but it will be wayyyy too emotional for me going to places like that alone. Ill immediately be overwhelmed by grief looking the beautiful cities and scenery.
And 2) should i quit my job to travel extensively. We only have one life to live and im not getting younger
Basically there are all the emotions right now paralyzing me. Fear of missing out, grief, fear of being alone forever and missing out on sharing beautiful memories with someone 🙁
How do you cope with all that??