Hi Redditors. So, on Saturday my boyfriend of almost 6 months has unexpectedly proposed to me. First of all I was very surprised because our relationship was not in a "rosy stage" for some time and I was even thinking of taking a step back to reassess our compatibility. And secondly, I have been very sick for the past three months so I was definitely not expecting to be proposed to while I'm not fully healed.
The proposal took place at my home where he came to see me. Before the engagement we spent some hours together just hanging out and spending time as usually. When the moment came, he quickly confessed his feelings for me and gave the ring which I've accepted and said "yes". I was completely overwhelmed though so my yes was not confident at all.
What happened later, broke me. Immediately after proposing he did not even hug or kiss me !! but proceeded to take photos so he could post on social media. After we did that he was considering that we should go back to our respective homes, although most often we would stay together through the night. So this consideration, again, seemed off to me. I was the one suggesting that we should stay together for longer (incl overnight) (he eventually agreed) and that we should make it more like a "celebration". So we went to a few stores to find something sparkling to drink. After we came back, we just drank a glass and that was it. Then when we went to bed he was focused on posting the picture (as a story) – he did not know what music to put in the background or what to write on the post. He was exploring some strange suggestions which made me feel even more sensitive about the whole thing. Afterwards, the whole night he was checking the reactions from other women on Instagram who reacted to his story. It continued in the morning too and he was quick to storm back home.
During the night I was crying a lot and he asked me a few times what's wrong as I did not seem happy (those did not seem like happy tears for him). I said that I am just overwhelmed. Didn't want to hurt him by saying that the engagement didn't go as I would have liked. In the morning I finally said that I cried because it seemed like a fleeting moment which passed so quickly and we didn't even spend time to enjoy it. He said "but it's still lasting, I'm sure people are going to be asking you questions today". I said but is it really about other people? He said "it kind of is". I said, it's not the case for me.
Of course I was hurt because the whole thing despite the nice words seemed rushed, like ticking a checkbox and then him immediately proceeding to posting and checking the reactions… It indeed felt like it was about other people…
I don't know what to do or how to feel. Later when we spoke about marriage expectations, again, the focus was on pleasing other people which hurts me even more.
Where am I in my own engagement story? 🙁