Recently I (37M) matched with a lady (35F) on Hinge. She was into a lot of the nerdy things I was into—cosplay, gaming, going to cons—and we were having a really good conversation. I was sending long responses and she would reply with 5 minute voice notes.
However, something in her profile bothered me. It wasn't anything bad, but it said she was looking for someone who knew where they were going in 5 to 10 years as she wanted parallel her path with that person. It seemed like she wanted someone more ambitious and I wasn't sure if I was that person, and I told her as such. This led into me revealing that I never dated or been in a relationship before, and that my mom was living with me (I'm in NYC, I have a full-time job, but I can't afford my own place on what I'm making, I would need at least a roommate). She was really empathetic and understanding about all of that, and still wanted to meet. I was still a bit on the fence (I was scared, to be honest), but after giving it some thought, I realized I did want to meet her, and that even if it didn't turn into anything, I would have still made another nerdy friend.
So I told her that I wanted to meet and suggested a Chinese restaurant that we could try, but she had food allergies and suggested meeting at an internet cafe so we could game and chat. I readily agreed and asked what her availability was. I was genuinely getting excited to meet. She said she was going to be busy for the week and that was going to a Kpop concert on Friday, so I left her alone and on the day of the concert, I messaged saying to have fun. She didn't respond. No biggie. The next day, I asked her how was the concert. No response again. After a few days, I messaged again asking if she was still interested in meeting. No response either. At this point, I was starting to get frustrated. I've been ghosted before, and I have little tolerance for it. By end of week two of no response, I messaged saying that I unfortunately had to unmatch cause it seems like you're no longer interested. After that, I waited a few hours and unmatched. The whole thing has soured me on online dating, so I paused my account and uninstalled the app.
I'm just wondering if I made the right choice here. Should I have given her more time? Would you have done the same? The thing is, I can't get her out of my head now. I found her social based on what she told me (yea, yea I know) and have thought about messaging her and asking for a redo, but since she ghosted me, isn't that already an indication she's not interested?