Sorry this is a bit of a rant so thanks if you read it or have something to say.
Ok I realised dating is quite hard and the burn out feeling is real. I was new to dating last year and dated nine men. It started when I dated a guy at work who was interested and then I said let’s get coffee so we did and had three dates. He then ghosted me. Then I thought maybe I will seriously date a bit more as my plan had been to trying online dating just before he walked into my life.
I went on a lot of first dates, a few second dates. Then I met a guy who was really interested and we kept dating. End of the year he became my boyfriend only for him to break up with me two years later because he decided he couldn’t sacrifice his hobbies for me and he couldn’t continue long distance so of one hour. I think there might have been other issues but sure ok, I accepted and decided to move on. He didn’t treat me well looking back although I was his girlfriend and didn’t communicate well. Once we became official, his effort dropped a bit which led to the communication issues I feel. I opened myself up for this guy for him to only decide to break up instead of trying to work through the issues. I guess to a degree we weren’t compatible looking back and that’s ok. But I had wanted to make it work.
I go to a run club and one day this guy talks to me. Second time we see each other my friend invites him to join us at coffee. He asks for my number after my friend leaves and as we are leaving as he says he wants to get coffee with me to get to know me better, so we exchange but I also don’t really feel like I want to do this as I’m getting over my ex still. We text for a bit but can’t schedule and then I tell him sorry I’m not wanting to get to know new people now. He says he understands then stops texting which I’m completely fine with.
What irks me a bit though is I am starting to feel like a product when it comes to dating. My ex made me feel like that after the relationship because he treated me really poorly at the end of the relationship and then I just felt a bit used in the six months we were dating and in a relationship. Completely stopped talking to him that day and we don’t talk now. Running guy was the same, he just disappeared and I feel like a product because sure he wanted to have coffee to get to know me and it’s good he respected my boundaries when I said not now but I still feel like a product. Is it bad that I am thinking like that? Am I complaining and being ungrateful and is my thinking justified?
In a way with run guy I feel like it was a good opportunity but for me it wasn’t the right time. I also don’t know if I was interested or if I would have been interested if my ex hadn’t broken up with me a month and a half before. I think I would have been more open to it but I’m just not interested anymore in dating anyone after my ex.
It’s so sad that people who get into a romantic relationship just can decide nope not working and then cut all ties and go back to strangers again. And then I feel like a product being female in this modern dating world. Even when I try to be nice to people, communicate clearly, put in effort. I feel burnt out and it sort of makes me not want to date again to be honest, if people can be so fickle and just throw you away like that.
Anyways, thanks for reading. Any advice would be great.