I (23F) have had a best friend (23M) for 12 years. We met in school and have nurtured this friendship ever since. We have a very close relationship, like confidants; we trust each other a lot because we are similar in many things, such as our perspective on life and how we see the world.
A few months ago, a friend of my best friend became interested in me, and my best friend showed very obvious jealousy. On that occasion, we went out as a group of 6 (me and two other friends, and him and two other friends), and he wouldn't let his friend get close to me or take me home. When I questioned him the next day, he said that he was jealous in the sense of losing my friendship, because he knew that a possible relationship between me and his friend would end up distancing us a little; he said that I was very precious to him (as a friend). But he also started talking about how he saw me in general, that I was lighthearted, captivating, the ideal wife, the perfect woman to have children with and share life with. And he said all that to affirm my preciousness.
A few days later I talked to him about how I felt our friendship was going beyond the ordinary. We made New Year's resolutions together, read books and watched series together… we did all the things couples do.
In the conversation he told me that he didn't have romantic feelings for me. So I suggested a period of distance so we could really start treating each other like friends… we couldn't distance ourselves, on the contrary, we became even closer.
About a month ago I decided to distance myself from him on my own. Since then he hasn't stopped trying to get around me and resume the frequent contact we had.
But to be honest, I don't think I want to resume our friendship, at least not in the way it was. I value him a lot, he's my best friend, an incredible man, but I still don't think the way we were treating each other was appropriate. And I want to have a serious relationship with someone, I'm repositioning myself in relation to some things and my friendship with him was one of those things that needed to be immediately reviewed.
One thing I also noticed is that he always talked about us as a unit, for example… we have our birthdays in the same week, he always said "our birthday" or "our month," among other things that could easily be separated. Even on my birthday last year, my friends surprised me a few days later (on his birthday), he came to my party instead of being with his family on his own birthday.
Note: We never got involved (no kissing, no sex) and we never liked each other (at least, not openly). And it's important to emphasize that I never saw him romantically either, so all this surprises me.
What do you all think about all this?
I think he's emotionally confused and I doubt he has feelings for me.