For context I am 23F and he is 29M.

The guy i’ve been seeing for a month now has stated that he’s looking for someone to eventually marry and have kids with (he told me this on our second date). He keeps asking me what my timeline for marriage/kids is, to which I repeatedly have answered minimum 3 years. He’s said 2-3 years for him so I thought we were fairly aligned but he’s kind of obsessed about the idea of settling down.

He’s also made a lot of jokes and comments about how he wants to ‘wife me up’ so I won’t have to work again (I’ve never stated I want this). He’s also talked about how beautiful our kids would look like. It’s kind of a lot honestly especially when I’ve told him I need to take things slowly when initially dating. He also asked to be sexually exclusive on our second date…but he also mentioned to me that he’s still gone on dates with other people while we’ve been seeing each other (but i guess not having sex with them? he says this is the most serious thing he has going on rn).

But most importantly he’s made not one but TWO baby trapping jokes to me. Once he’s joked about poking a hole in his condom, the other time he joked that he already got me pregnant over text. Really off putting.

After I told him to stop that bit because it’s scary in a playful manner, he said “I actually put an implant in your arm no worries”.

This was a joke but even more off putting as I had previously told him I don’t ever want to be on birth control again (after he tried to have sex without asking if he should put on a condom to which I promptly stopped him from doing).

I feel like he’s constantly testing my boundaries to see how I react instead of just straight up asking me stuff. It sucks because he’s so great and fun and hot and kind but he makes these weird comments/jokes sometimes that gives me a bit of an ick. I want to make things work with him as we have such great chemistry but I am also a little scared he isn’t who I think he is.

Do I keep trying? What do I do?

TLDR: Guy i’m seeing is obsessed with marriage/kids. I feel like he is dating just to find a wife rather than getting to know who I truly am. He also has made several baby trapping jokes and I’m trying to figure out if this is worth a conversation or if I should run for the hills.


Leave a Reply