A few days ago my boyfriend and I were laying in bed together talking about the job that I started a month ago already giving me a raise. He lives in Canada and I live in the US, so we were talking about how I technically make more money than him now with the conversion. For context, I just started this job a month ago after being unemployed and on unemployment for 3 months. I was unexpectedly let go from my previous job, and my boyfriend was a godsend helping me financially (buying my groceries every week and buying me little things I wanted) while I was on the limited unemployment income. I want to point out that he has little to no bills, and I have a lot from trying to fix some financial issues I caused myself during college. During my time on unemployment he only paid for my groceries and little trinkets here and there I wanted. He NEVER paid any of my bills.
Since historically he has made more money than me and has less bills, he pays for most of our meals out, and some of the small things I buy myself. Sometimes he splurges on big things for me (like $200+). I would say prior to me losing my job it was 60/40 split between him and I buying stuff. When I was unemployed it was more 90/10. I always felt guilty about needing help, but he reassured me he didn’t care and he would do anything to make sure I was safe and comfortable.
Back to the other day, when we were discussing finances he randomly joked “Haha now that you’re making money again you can finally start pulling your weight” and I genuinely died a little inside when he said this. Even typing it out now i’m tearing up because it truly came out of left field and it felt so hurtful. He’s a great guy and he never made any inclination he felt like it was lopsided the way we do finances, and it makes the whole relationship feel transactional like he’s keeping track of how much I spend vs. him. I’m super super upset by this almost a week later. We’ve talked about it a few times and he’s really apologetic and reassures me he doesn’t actually feel this way. Am I insane for still being really hurt by this? I really don’t know if it’s valid.