Maybe because I am the only child so I don’t understand. My husband is very responsible when he is with me and our kid. But as long as he gets to see his brothers, it got a little out of control. Drink until 1am, until almost wasted. Barely talking to me, or rarely checking on my feelings when I am finishing up my day exhausted because I was taking care of everything when his brothers visit ( house chores, food, drive them around, and kid). Ok I get it, he does not get to see them often. So he is excited, no problem. I can be the babysitter, the butler, the housekeeper when they visit you, or when you visit them. Though I had talked with him so many times that I felt unseen and unappreciated when you are hanging out with your brothers, all I need is just a little care and attention during that time to make myself feel I am not just a tool. But still every time something came up and I felt the same frustration. But today I got upset again but I am not sure if I am just too sensitive because there were too many episodes in history.
I am obsessed with traveling as my hobby. But since having my kid, traveling becomes tough. The budget became higher and the fun became less. So if possible, I am trying to play with miles/points to save money but can still enjoy the trip . Booking award travel is like a gamble, you will need to do research, have a detailed plan and execute it well. Currently we are planning a trip to Japan next year. I just made some progress today with booking flight by miles, so I was supposed to be happy. But when we talk about it today, my husband ‘joked’ : okay then I will invite xxx( his brother) to Japan then. I let it go at that moment because I was in the happiness trance. But when that happiness fade away, I got more and more furious about what he ‘joked’ about. So I am trying very hard to plan a trip, for myself to be a babysitter in Japan? If his brother is in the picture of this trip, I think it will become a divorce trip. I just know my husband, he will want to spend 24hours with his brother every single day, and for the days he can’t, he will act like a zombie in front of us in a foreign country.
Still, I get he misses his brothers. So I told him many times that he is free to have a solo trip to meet them. The thing is that no person from his family is the type to have plans. Their tradition is to sit in the living room for 2h talking about what to eat, and eventually pick a random place. Because of this, nothing ever worked out for them and also all hai brothers are very cheap in Money. That is also another thing that worries me, because I will not share a hotel room with another guy on my vacation!
Is ME the issue? Do I need to see a therapist to get help? Or am I a boring wife?