I'll try to be brief.
My girlfriend moved in with me late last year. Overall, things are OK. We are still trying to get some routines down with chores and whatnot which is fine, but that has nothing to do with the topic of the post. The thing that has been grinding me down is her incessant complaining.
My girlfriend will walk through the door from work (I work from home) and it's almost immediate. Her head hurts, her back hurts, her boss sucks, her sister is annoying her. I'm sympathetic to the physical and mental pain of work and day to day life. It's just that her back will hurt, then five minutes later her neck hurts, then five minutes later her head hurts because her neck and back hurts. I've tried to bring this up in a manner that doesn't make me sound sociopathic but she's not receptive and claims she has "chronic pain" and so she'll always be in some sort of pain. I try to offer solutions but she says she just wants to "complain about it" and doesn't need me offering medicine/water/doctor's appointments or anything.
Now that she landed a job (it took her a few months to find one in this market), there's problems with that. She's overworked and everyone at her job is either an "idiot" or "doesn't know what they're doing". Again, it's just non-stop complaining.
Sometimes she will blatantly interrupt whatever conversation we are having to complain about whatever pain has. She blames the interruptions on her ADHD and says she "can't help it" and jokingly (sometimes it doesn't feel like a joke) calls me "ableist" if I pause after her interruption.
Like I said, whenever I try to bring it up to her, I get push back that I "don't care about her" or "couldn't care less about what she's dealing with"…which isn't true. I've tried explaining that I just don't have the bandwidth to always hear constant negativity. I've also tried saying that it's OK to complain about pain or a bad day or whatever, but if it's just constant it becomes a lot. She defended this by essentially saying "that's just how she is".
This has gotten to the point where I'm starting to cherish the time while she's at work and I'm alone. My girlfriend is an incredibly sweet and caring person, but sometimes knowing the moment she walks through the door I'm going to be on edge about whatever I have to hear has started to take it's toll. I've started going into our bedroom and "working on stuff" (I am in school) just to avoid a potential complaint.
I'm just not sure how to talk about this or what to do.
tl;dr: Girlfriend's constant complaints about work, chronic pain, and family are starting to take their toll on me, and I'm starting to enjoy time alone and find time to be away to avoid her complaining. Not sure how to communicate or move forward.