For the context we’ve known each other for 10 years, being best friend flirting around but took time to made it as he lived really far away from me and I was not ready for a relationship, until 3 years ago when we finally made out and decided to be a couple.
For the first 2 years we were in a long-distance relationship (LDR) and at the beginning we slept together a lot, he was the one initiating everytime, this was incredible (like all the beginning of a relationship). But as the time pass, he initiated less and less so I was the one demanding more and more. At some point, even if we were in a LDR, sleeping together only one time if I’m here for one week was more than sufficent to him. I was really surprised because we didn’t see each other for 1 month and doing it one time is more than enough ?
Of course I didn’t want to force him so I just restrained myself but I will not lie, this was very frustrating.
But to be honest apart of that, every other aspect of the relationship is really good, he is kind, very affectionate, so funny we’re laughing everyday, we really kept this bestfriend relationship but even better and we do love each other a lot, I know that, our relationship is really strong and I know that is a healthy relationship.
Now that we live together I would say this is getting better, I am less frustrated but still, I am always, always the one initating for having sex and we’re doing it like … 2 times a month ? We’re not doing it when I’m on my period (something I 100% understand, even me I would not do it) so you delete 1 week and then when I’m on an ovulating period, he’s not touching me as well because I stopped all contraception due to health issues and or course mister doesn’t want to wear a condom. So I’m following my cycle very carefully and over all there is only 2 weeks where we can sleep together. And I know him now, 1 time a week issues his pace, if I ask for more I know he will force himself just to please me but that’s not what I want. So we’re doing it only 2 times a month …. As young adults.
What will it be later when we’ll be elderly, once a year ? This is scaring me to be honest. And of course I don’t want to force him, so I’m forcing myself to adapt, but still, being the only one, especially as a woman, to initiate it everytime, this is still questionning me and myself. I am usually confident because I take care of my looks, I’m going to the gym, I know how to dress-up, make up, everything, I’m feeling pretty but : I feel desirable from every men’s eyes, except from my man’s …. And it hurts.
We already talk it out several times but nothing changed, after all you can’t force someone for wanting to have sex. But I had 2 boyfriends before him and they were not like that at all, this is the first time I’m having this issue and if not for that, the relationship would be perfect so why does this happen ? He told me this is not my fault as he was like that we his exes as well.
So I don’t know what to do, I’m scared to be too much frustrated and ending doing something I could regret. What would you guys do at my place ?
**TL:DR : We’ve known each other for 10 years, being together for 3 years, but we have sex only twice a month as young adult, is it normal or do I have a problem ?**