Basically what the title says. I found out that my husband has a private discord with only himself where he puts photos of women's butts. There are HUNDREDS of photos. Seriously… it took me about 12 minutes of straight scrolling to get to the top. These include screenshots of random women in various positions/poses showing off their ass from insta or tiktok and photos of women that we both know (people we've worked with and neighbors from our security cams) where they are faced away from him. He'd take multiple photos. All of this has been happening over the course of 5 years, we've been together for 3 years, and have been married since the beginning of last year. He also has just straight-up pictures of women's selfies. I guess he finds them attractive? I'm surprised, but also not surprised at the same time. It hurts because he's been sort of distant. Refusing sex. Not really wanting to go out with me to the park or to go on little dates. He'd rather lay in bed on tiktok… Well, now I know why. I can't get out of my head that he's a major creep for this. I got so physically ill. This is so wrong, right?
I confronted him. All he could say is that he knows it's fucked up and that he's sorry. That he doesn't know why he does this. It's that he just has to…. Like eww. I told him I need space and time. I can't even look at him without crying. Please tell me I'm not overreacting. I don't even want him to look at my butt anymore. I'm grossed out at the thought of his gaze….. I can't sleep in our bed. I went out and bought an air mattress because I'd rather deal with re-airing that thing than sleeping next to a… I don't even know what to classify him as. This makes me want to leave him. Is that wrong? What do I do here? Any advice?
I forgot to put it at the top, but when he would do this, he would have to go through a whole process of saving these photos. Taking/screenshotting, then going to discord, uploading to his secret discord server, going and permanently deleting it from his phone. I never suspected this because we use each others phones quite often and he's never batted an eye… I told him that the fact that he went through a whole process shows that he knows it was wrong. This really sucks, and I'm hurt, but is this hurt stupid? I need your opinion.