My wife F25 and I M27 have been married for 4 years. She use to be more of a slow and take your time type person but she’s recently been asking for more rough things like spanking and light choking. She wants me to be more aggressive. This all started when I start to slap her ass harder than usual when she was on top and she was actually enjoying it a lot. She didn’t realize that maybe she liked a little rough play. So I tried to be more aggressive. I’ve tried being more spontaneous and rough by initiating in a more aggressive way. Things like the other week she was bent over the bed straightened up the covers i came in behind her and smacked her ass pushed her head down into the bed and went to pull her shorts down. She did not like this saying it was “too much” too fast. I thought maybe I did do a little too much I’ll tone it down. We started having sex and I bent her over doggy style. I went to grab a hand full of hair from the scalp and started spanking her ass. She was not a fan of the hair pulling so I switched over to arm around her neck for some light choking and it was too hard. I let go more and more to the point I was barely wrapped around her neck and she found that more enjoyable. We communicated about what her standards are for rough is and she doesn’t really know what she wants she just knows she likes a little rough but nothing to rough if that makes sense. For those into rough play what’s that happy medium you guys have found that I could try to match what she wants.