Masturbation? Nope. Penetration? Nope. Oral? Nope. Clitoral stimulation? Nope. Clitoral stimulation and penetration? Nope. Using a vibrator? Nope. Dildo? Nope. Clitoral stimulation using vibrator, having my boyfriend going down on me, AND having my nipples stimulated? Nope. What the fuck?
A little backstory: I have only been sexually active for about 7-8 months. I met my boyfriend last year and he is the only sex partner I have ever had. He is also the only partner I have ever had — period.
Despite my “sexual activity” being quite recent, I was never able to pleasure myself either. I have been turned on, yes, but never able to cross the finish line. I tried masturbation both as a teenager and an adult, not even able to get myself to that point of satisfaction. I honestly feel like I’d have an easier time changing a tire.
I’m stating all of this to exaggerate I really don’t believe this falls on my partner. He is extra attentive to what feels good for me and what doesn’t, always willing to try “different” or “new” things in attempt to get me an orgasm, many of which I suggest. They don’t work.
My partner and I? We have great sex. No other way to put it other than “we match each others freak”. My boyfriend, in no way attempting to simply flatter me, was surprised I hadn’t had sex before because our sex was just that great for both of us. I don’t really care about outside opinions on this front because I’m happy with our sex and so is he, it’s my inability to orgasm that is keeping me down.
One common factor is I have always been on some sort of SSRI. I didn’t know this could affect libido or sexual satisfaction until my boyfriend mentioned an ex girlfriend who had the same issue due to being on antidepressants. I talked to my doctor and surely enough, my anorgasmia is very likely due to being on PROZAC. The issue here is, hello, I’m depressed. I have no idea what life was like before I was on antidepressants, other than I felt like absolute shit. My antidepressants help me, they are literally happy pills for me, so the thought of going off of them is dangerous.
I tried MACA ROOT, it seemed to help at first, I felt more turned on and was moaning much more than I usually do, unfortunately, I ended up being allergic. I was getting rashes and having a hard time breathing.
Recently, I had a copper IUD put in as emergency contraception. I’ve heard from others that sometimes having the IUD as protection versus a condom can be more stimulating, being able to have “raw” sex. Some people also say it makes them “wetter”, the orgasms better. I have only had it for a week, I feel extra sensitive, but still, nothing comes out of me. No pun intended.
I’m pretty much out of options. I love my boyfriend, I love sex, I love being sexy. I know my boyfriend loves me no matter what, but personally, I am becoming increasingly embarrassed and feel quite “broken”. It’s starting to make me very upset.
Will I never have that moment of pure bliss most people have experienced? I don’t even know what to expect. I have no idea what it feels like. I’ve never even squirted. My boyfriend is so wonderful and understanding, he’s trying to look into things for me too but I’m starting to just “give up”. Does anyone have some advice?
TLDR;
Unable to orgasm despite great sex. (F23) The type of sex or stimulation does not seem to matter. I am not on hormonal birth control, have a (week old) copper IUD, and am prescribed a SSRI. “New to sex” within the last year, have only had sex with my boyfriend. Allergic to supplement (MACA ROOT) suggested to help. What do I do now?