“We went to the grocery store,” “We have to drop off the dog at the vet in the morning,” “We love wine tastings.” At some point in your 30s, you realize everyone who’s in a relationship shares all their information as “we” and not “I,” and it honestly just…makes me feel like shit. At my age, it’s predominantly people saying “we” instead of “I,” like the verbal equivalent of a wedding ring. And it’s not just people you know; I pick up on strangers telling me stories like this like I’m just supposed to know who their spouse is, without them ever having said, “my spouse, (name), and I.” It’s like you’re just supposed to assume there’s a second entity attached to them, even if that person isn’t really helping performing the action—e.g. you didn’t both bring the dog to the vet, one of you did.
It’s like a weird language coupled people speak, but it makes me self conscious to just say “I” now. It’s like, “Uh-oh, they now know I’m single.” The second I start saying, “I’m going on a staycation this weekend,” I know their brains are short-circuiting and pity is entering the chat. Older parents list adult kids by couple, listing the single ones last, and singles get the couch on vacations. It’s like being an “I” makes you an isolated loser, the final thought, the last resort, the last player picked, because couples are a unit of two and therefore somehow entitled to more privilege than you? And you’re just some sad sack on your own. Poor you.
Can anyone else relate to this? Do you also feel like couples think they’re more special simply for the fact that they found someone and you didn’t / haven’t yet? Has anyone else ever been judged for this? Maybe I’m just surrounded by elitist a-holes, but you can literally see the pity in the eyes when they find out you’re single or the confused privilege on their faces when they aren’t given first priority above a single person.