My (32F) bf (31M) is against me spending any money to help me improve my self-esteem. Just to be clear, Ive never asked for money from him or asked him to pay for anything. I’m willing to spend my own money on anything I want since I can support myself. Currently, I’m low maintenance. I don’t do my hair/nails/lashes, and I don’t have any plastic surgery nor do I have any fillers or botox (last done over 2 years ago). I’m an RN and I have a decent amount of savings, but my bf says that if I want to spend money on these things, then that means I don’t “care about our future together.”
Something else that I want to do in the future is a breast fat transfer (I know good results aren’t guaranteed, but I have a high chance of problems/inflammation with implants). I’m an AA cup, and I wasn’t that self-conscious about them back then. But when I try on clothes, he’ll make comments like “that top doesn’t look good on you, you don’t fill it out at all.” He gets excited about my period because my breasts are larger during that time and it makes me feel self-conscious. But he is against me spending any money to do this.
I am working on myself internally, I am in therapy and working daily to improve myself (going to the gym and lifting, going to regular Pilates classes, yoga, meditation, etc.), but I just want to do little things to help me feel better about myself. And I feel like shit because I can’t do any of that. It sounds so superficial, but I can’t tell if he’s right and I really am wasting money or if he’s just preventing me from improving myself for some reason. I also rarely buy any clothes anymore due to him making me feel guilty about spending money on material items. He makes everything about money and I can’t tell if this is normal behavior from a partner or not. I’ve brought it up before that i just want to do little things once in a while to help me feel better about myself. How can I approach this with him?