Seeking advice
I got married about two years ago, hoping for a fulfilling and happy life. While there were moments of love and joy—like our trips and affectionate days—there was also a constant undercurrent of tension. Whenever conflicts arose, they were intense and overwhelming.
I never felt the freedom to simply be myself. I was constantly reminded by my husband that as a woman, it was my duty to perform and meet his family’s expectations. Meanwhile, he wasn’t allowed to visit my parents’ home or stay overnight, as it would make his parents insecure. Despite this double standard, I was always expected to be the one calling his parents, trying to impress them, and making them happy. They never once called me in the entire two years of our marriage, yet I was always the one held responsible for maintaining the relationship.
There were moments of outright abuse. Once, he slapped me in front of his mother. She initially told me not to tolerate such behavior and informed my father-in-law. But looking back, it felt like a staged act. The questioning only fueled more anger in my husband, leading to another explosive argument. He tried to push me out of the house, and I had to call my parents to take me back.
We had no contact for a couple of months, but eventually, my parents tried to mediate. When I returned, the atmosphere was still hostile. I was accused of faking my health issues and not contributing enough to household chores. The constant criticism made it unbearable to live there. Another fight broke out when he blamed me for his parents not visiting, and he spat on my face. That was the breaking point—I left immediately.
After another period of silence, he reached out with promises to change. I went back, hoping for a fresh start. But the pattern repeated itself—his family’s complaints, his aggression, and the endless blame all fell on me. He twisted stories to his parents, making me the villain. On the final night, he got drunk and became violent. He pulled my hair, because i asked him not to drink. I defended myself, by slapping him back . he twisted the narrative, calling his father to paint me as the aggressor. My brothers intervened, and things escalated to a physical confrontation.
According to him his sisters are very beautiful and i am not white skinned
My husband carried a constant guilt that his parents weren’t living with us, and his mother would blame me, saying that I was the reason they couldn’t visit. This pressure and tension seeped into our marriage, leading to constant fights and a toxic environment.
When comparee to him and his parents it always felt like i dont have a voice or i cant give him any advice , even if i give he will always follow them.
Now, I’m staying with my parents, trying to figure out what to do next.
I am still questioning that what my brothers did were they wrong. As their reaction was built up of many times