I (33M) started dating someone new (28F) about a month ago. During our last (fourth) date, she revealed that she’s still recovering from a break up about 5 months ago. I asked more about it and discovered that they had been together for a long time- since college.
It sounds like it may have been him who ended the relationship, though she didn’t really say. She did however admit that she’s still working on getting over it, and that she might be less emotionally available than I might like.
All that said, I think she’s doing a wonderfully good job communicating where she’s at with me. She seems to be honest and kind, and self-aware, all traits I really value.
Because she’s clearly still in the healing process, I’ve been trying to give her space and take things slowly, but still be consistent and communicate how much I like her.
The biggest struggle seems to be that she doesn’t seem to want to talk about herself. I assume part of it is the emotional availability, but another component could be that she was with her ex for so long that a lot of her life and stories revolve around him. I’m not the jealous type and wouldn’t mind her sharing those stories at all, but I imagine she’s staying away from them for the reason that they’re painful to her too.
Would any of you have advice for anything else I could do to make her feel comfortable and ensure this continues slowly but in a healthy and honestly, FUN way? I feel like the focus should really be on fun and creating memories, but I tend to be a worrier and so here I am.