It is a first relationship for both of us and we never had anything with anyone either. Not even situationships. At the moment we are ldr, dating for more than a year and been friends for almost two and both are already 18. My partner "gets going" from basically anything of mine, as he said it. Usually when we call in the late evening I am already wearing my pyjamas and he kinda gets to see stuff. I am not dressing so, or showing, or etc on purpose to turn him on. Moreover, when I ask if him being turned on kinda disturbes him from concentrating or whatever, he says "No it is fine I just love to see it".
Basically, when we both are in a good mood, some basic talk can escalate and he can get horny from some not so naughty stuff. I am absolutely happy that my partner loves me, likes me and has this reaction, but it is not really what makes me question.
Sometimes I just dont want to have any sexy time, even if I am in a mood to flirt. I realise that it is completely fine. But he has quite a reaction. He is a respectful one, so if situation comes to the point when he tells me that he very very very needs to release it (happens a lot of times in general) and I am not in the mood, he offers me to hung up for some short time and gets back to me in some 10-15 minutes.
What makes me kinda "???" in terms of what to do is me feeling somehow confused. I am not feeling well about him hunging up and dealing with an erection instead of typa calm down and continue talking to me. Because it just kinda seems to me like he favours his pleasure more than my feelings atm. But I know that I clearly am not in the mood for a sexual interraction even if it is being present while he does it. And third, it seems kinda rude to me to tell him to just stop being turned on. His mind is kinda is blurry then and I can tell that he is somewhere in his thoughts rather than with me and ig he cant really help it. Also, he sometimes tells me (not just in situations like I discribed, but when we are having some very flirty talk that leads to the time itself) that his penis hurts when he is very tenced when he is not masturbating at that point of being this turned on.
Also, we are planning to move in relatively soon and I am not sure how this situation is going to be handled offline irl. With both me not being in the mood for that interraction or/and being rushed when I actually need a longer prelude.
So my questions are:
- Is my feeling of being neglected when he hungs up to masturbate reasonable?
- What would be an okay scenario to deal with that situation online and offline?
- Does it actually hurt when you are very tensed and cant masturbate?
- If after hearing out some advices of yours I will feel like I shoul have a talk with him about that, what would be the most decent and okay form to convey it to him and not to make any of us to feel neglected?
Thanks and I am sorry if my wording is not very comprehensible sometimes, it is not my first language.