My husband (42M) and I (39F) had a significant conflict this morning related to feeding our children. The argument escalated, and at one point he came very close to my face and screamed at me in an intimidating way while I was holding our baby. I felt scared. He then took the baby from me in anger.
We argue frequently and while he can be verbally mean when very angry, this was a whole new level of quick escalation.
Because I felt unsafe, I called the police. They came to the house, assessed the situation, and filed a report. There were no further immediate actions taken.
Immediately after the police left, my husband’s behavior shifted. He was calm, wanted to talk, and suggested that we pursue couples counselling (something he absolutely refused to do in the past). I was open to that.
However, within a few hours, his behavior changed again. He became withdrawn, unresponsive, and at times dismissive (e.g., telling me to “leave me alone” when I asked a routine childcare question). He also expressed resentment about my calling the police, stating that it may take him “many months” to forgive me. He framed my actions as a wrongdoing rather than acknowledging the impact of his behavior.
One thing of note is I was away for two weeks visiting friends and family with my older child. We just returned yesterday. He stayed at home with the baby. I am not sure if that is related.
I really do not know how to move past this. How do I
co-parent with someone like this?