My [30M] sister (26F, who we will call Annie) has, for years, been obsessed with luxury and wealth. Growing up our family were solidly middle class, but at uni Annie befriended some very snobby rich girls (they're no longer friends) and since then she's had an obsession with 5 star hotels, fine dining, luxury cars, high end homes etc, and trying to appear 'sophisticated' and 'upper class'.
Annie has maintained for years that her 'plan' is to marry rich so she won't have to work, and her husband be able to pay for daycare, domestic help etc as well so she can spend her days relaxing (Annie doesn't really know how to cook, clean or iron so she's not looking to become a 'trad wife'). Annie has never been in a relationship, and currently works a 'cushy' government job (that pays OK but nothing amazing, but she only works 32 hours a week) and lives at home with our parents.
This obsession with wealth and marrying rich has led to Annie falling down what I dub the 'female Manosphere' rabbit hole. Essentially what it is is influencers who tell their followers how to maximise the financial benefits from relationships and manipulate men into buying them things, giving them money etc. She's told me she wants to find a man who'll take care of her and let her live a 'soft life' (her words) where she doesn't have to work or do chores and will spend her days getting spa treatments, meeting friends, going to fitness classes etc.
Anyway, my girlfriend (27F, who I'll call Imogen) and I went up to see my parents and Annie a couple of weeks ago, and whilst I was helping my dad in the backyard with cutting down a tree, Imogen decided to take Annie out for a coffee. Imogen and I have been dating for 8 months, and since then her and Annie haven't really had much 1 on 1 time due to us living 2.5 hours away, so she thought it'd be a nice thing for them to get to know each other a bit better.
Annie asked Imogen about our first date and the first couple of months of our relationship. Our first date was at a casual bar near Imogen's place. Annie was taken aback that Imogen and I took turns in buying rounds at this bar on our first date, and that we went to a casual bar rather than me taking her to a high end restaurant, and told Imogen she needed to 'stop being a pick me' and to 'know her worth' and other comments to that effect.
Annie also criticised Imogen for the fact that in our relationship, it's fairly equal in terms of who pays for what. We don't have a tally but sometimes I'll get dinner, sometimes she will etc. Annie told Imogen that there are men out there who won't let her pay for anything and will even pay the mortgage on her home, car payment etc, again emphasising she needs to 'know her worth' and that Imogen needs to either get me to 'man up' and start 'giving her what she deserves', or leave if I don't 'add value to her life' (ie, buying her expensive shit all the time).
Imogen told me all of this in the car as we were driving back to my house, and I was honestly furious. I got home and sent an angry message to Annie, which she responded to by essentially saying 'I said what I said, you need to provide for Imogen and give her what she deserves or she'll find someone who will'.
Imogen is *not* like Annie in this respect in the slightest, she's very ambitious in her career, earns good money and bought her own place in a HCOL city at 26. I'm the same, also earn decently and own my own home in the same city. Neither of us are particularly bothered by luxury, things like fine dining and excessive luxury/opulence isn't really my thing or hers, we also both plan to retire early. Imogen is also quite feminist in her outlook, not in a 'smash the patriarchy' way, but in a 'women need to be self sufficient' way, which comes from seeing her mum struggle after her father walked out on the family for a younger woman and used business tax loopholes to dodge paying child support for her and her brother.
However, even though she was incredibly rude to Imogen and her comments about our relationship made me angry, I am genuinely concerned about Annie. These TikTok/Instagram algorithms have led her to develop an extremely unhealthy view on men and relationships in general, and I worry about her either getting into a relationship and treating the man like a vending machine or becoming increasingly bitter when she can't find a man who's 100% 'perfect' according to her worldview. I want to offer some opposing views to get her out of this mindset, but how would I even broach the topic? She's incredibly stubborn and won't listen to anyone (even our mother has apparently tried and failed), she can also be quite rude and dismissive if you have an opposing viewpoint on any opinion she has.