I F32 fell hard for a man M36. We met at a baseball game 6 weeks ago and hit it off immediately, but he warned me that he was not in a place to date at all because he was going through a divorce. It turns out his wife cheated on him and they’ve been separated for months. He found out a year ago. They hadn’t filed yet, and they don’t have kids, just a dog.
I decided that even though he wasn’t available to date, I might as well have fun. I thought we would maybe just hook up, and I wouldn’t see him again, or we could just talk about life and be friends, but the chemistry is unreal. Stupidly, I’ve caught insane feelings for him. We ended up seeing each other 2-3 times a week for a month. This is the best connection I’ve ever had.
Yesterday he called me and said he’s not in a place to pursue this further because he’s still emotionally processing his divorce and offered to see me every once in a while on a casual basis (walks, bike rides). I turned this down, because I would want to date and experience the connection with him fully—I’m not just a comfort option during this time for him. I suggested we pause and he agreed and we parted ways (I think?). He agreed it sucked, but was the best decision. I am struggling more than you could imagine. I know this situation sounds like a disaster, but we have the best time when we are together, the way he has pursued me has been a dream, and I am completely a mess.
I think a couple months apart will be good. I told him I hope that the timing will be better, but he may move on or I may move on. I don’t know if I’m overthinking this whole thing, or how I should go about it. Any advice is welcome. He’s been sending me casual texts since. But I haven’t responded. I truly intend to pause and don’t want to lose him. But I don’t know how to handle this uncertainty, like whether it fades or if he will indeed show up. I don’t want to be a rebound, but I want him. Or, should I just move on?
TL;dr: Met a guy going through a divorce, caught serious feelings after a month of seeing each other 2-3x/week, but he pulled back and offered something casual while he files for divorce. I said no, suggested a pause, and now struggling a lot. I am hopeful the timing works out eventually, and don’t know how to move forward knowing he may reach out at any time.