When my father passed away I was 15, and my mother’s response was to totally shut down. She hasn’t gotten a job in ~18 years, rarely been home, got multiple sugar daddies to support herself, and has overall been pretty selfish with what little she did have in my childhood. To the point where she sold many of my belongs I kept as a child.
Then she out right hurt me. I let her borrow my car for a few months when I was an adult and she caused thousands of dollars of damage to it…she told my immediate family was a rapist cause she saw a guy that remotely looked like me on tv wanted by the police(it wasn’t me)…she didn’t tell me I had had an older brother. I only found out at 22 when he came knocking on the door…over all I just feel like she didn’t nothing to help me growing up other than giving me a room. I fee no love at all.
Now at 34 I’m faced with this crossroads. I honestly don’t want to forgive her. I have no reason to. I hear all about people forgiving their parents for be g flawed people, but sometimes I really think she was a piece of shit for the way she treated me…I just don’t know how to move on. My point is I’ll be having kids in the near future and now I have to decide if I want her in my adult life. Would I really be happier with her in my life? No. However, cutting her out makes things overall more complicated. The holidays with extended family will be weird, explaining to my kids about why they don’t see grandma will be weird, ect….
I just don’t know what to do. If this was anyone else cutting them out would be a no brainer. It’s just so much harder when it’s your mom.
What would you guys do? I’m sure there are some of you in similar situations with your parents at this age.