I (31F) have been with my partner since We were both 22. We always knew we wanted to be married at some point but both agreed early 20s was too young. I personally didnt want to be married in my 20s but late 20s would have been fine or early 30s. Around 28 yrs old I started noticing everyone was getting married, my bf showed no effort into marriage he was too focused on his career. We both agreed we had alot to work on before we could get married but he wasnt putting as much effort into that. My life stopped bc I got sick at 28 and I had to stop working. He became the head of household taking care of most things financially and we put a pause on everything. He went thru some personal issues too and stop putting effort in life in general, at some point he barely put effort into us and it was a rough patch. We’re doing better now, he reminds me all the time that he wants to marry me but I cant help but to feel dumb bc Ive been with him 9 years and I had to keep bringing it up the last 2 yrs like I was nagging. I also had to bring up to remember to work on himself. I communicated these things to him and nothing, I would have thought by now but no. There are people that have been together less than us and already have kids and married. People are constantly asking me and I cant help but to feel so dumb. Its turning me off to the idea of marriage all together bc it makes me feel like he cant get it together. It has pushed me away and made me question is this even a good idea. Asking for it and making me feel like i don’t want it anymore
Has anyone experienced this before?
I dont have good examples or relationships so I just dont know what acceptable sometimes and so far my friends and everyone else have said being a gf over 5 years is embarrassing, not directly to me. I have a friend that said that she told her man she didnt want to be a 5 year girlfriend and he proposed at 5 years. Meanwhile I’m a 9 year girlfriend and she knows that…