Hi everyone
Many months ago I dated this girl. We felt very connected, and progressed very quickly.
Not even two months in, she threatened me and I wrote this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1ou5fvi/aitah_for_ending_things_after_partner_said_she/
Stupidly, I continued the relationship with her. At a certain point, she wanted to look through my phone because she thought I was texting girls. I had female friends who I was talking to, but all above-board. I refused to let her go through my phone because it came a week after she threatened me.
This just turned into her calling me shady, and became her even getting angry and frustrated if I would tell her a story involving an ex, or wave a female through at a pedestrian crossing when we were driving.
As time went on, I started to find things out about her. That she was a stripper, and I was catching her out in lies, her coming home drunk because she accepted drinks off guys and her saying "I would get mad at her" when I never once yelled at her, and other pretty icky lies.
There was a lot of abuse on her end. She made comments about my mother and I regrettably did the same not even a day later, she got drunk one night and swore at me badly when I tried sticking up for our relationship after her guy friend did some really shady things and made me feel disrespected.
The relationship ultimately ended, only lasting 3-4 months, because she saw a text on my phone from a girl. This girl is much older than me, and I see her someone who has mentored me, who actually gave me a lot of good advice for this relationship I was in, and I didn't want her to know that.
She took it as me being shady and ultimately removed me and ghosted me except for communicating for me to pickup some stuff from hers.
Today – my life is going good. I have started therapy, and my therapist is very good, she has helped me connect a lot of my childhood problems to my behaviours, especially in this relationship.
I have met a girl who seems a lot more mature, and I am planning to take it much slower with her & my life is objectively great.
But I am holding onto the fact that I never expressed how she really made me feel and the things that she did. I was always trying to keep the peace, and put up with so much things.
The main thing, is she knew I grew up in a household where I saw threats torwards women, and I was powerless to protect them. When she threatened me she brought that out in me. She took me not letting her have access to my privacy as being shady.
I want to express all of this to her, set the record straight. Not expect a reply, block her straight after. I feel like it may be cathartic but I don't know.
Has anyone done this or is it pointless?