So im in my first relationship and me(15) and him(16) were hanging out and one thing led to another and we basically ended up dry humping and even tho i really enjoyed it i feel SO guilty and gross now im just scared rhats all he wants from me weve known eachother for 4 and a half months and have been together for 2 months are we moving too fast pls help me


10 comments

  1. If you seem like that’s all he wants from you definitely break up with him that’s not real love

  3. I’m like 95% sure this sub is 18+ and you’re gonna get banned, but you probably need counseling / therapy if you’re coming from a religious background. Sex and lust are extremely natural/normal, and I’m sorry you feel this way. However, also pay close attention to what you’re comfortable with, and if he’s not willing to respect it, kick him the fuck out

  6. It’s natural to feel this way. Especially at your age. But there’s a reason for that. Don’t try anything until you are totally comfortable with the person. You need to be sure you want to engage in this sort of activity. Don’t rush it. Play it out and mature a little first.

  8. What exactly is making you feel guilty? Is it because you think this happened too soon or are there religious aspects?

    What kind of relationship do you think you are looking for right now? Do you want to only be with someone you have strong feelings for or are you ok with things being less serious? Just some things to think about to help figure out what you want.

    Most importantly, don’t ever let him pressure you into something you’re not ok with, don’t let him nag you or convince you to change your mind. Make sure he is always treating you with respect in all aspects. You don’t have to put up with anything less than that.

  9. You are only moving too fast if you or your boyfriend feel that it’s too fast. Every couple and relationship has it’s own speed. Some have sex the first day and for others it takes a longer time.

    To have lust and wanting to have sex is a very natural part of beeing a human. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. See it as a sign of health.

    Don’t make anything that doesn’t feel right but don’t be afraid of trying to explore new things. If it doesn’t feel right when you try it. Tell your boyfriend and wait until it feels right to try it again.

    You have seen each other for a couple of months and he still seems to be interested. I don’t think that you have to be afraid that he’s just in the relationship for sex.

    The important thing is that you use a good type of protection if you choose to start having sex. Don’t accept to have sex without condoms. If you in the future have a good sexlife and want to switch to using birth control pills or a hormone spiral that could be good options but it’s good to always start new relationships with comdoms as the protection.

    It’s good that you ask about your thoughts and questions. Don’t be afraid to ask other questions, it’s not easy to enter a new world of relationships, sex and intimacy.

  10. If you feel like you’re moving too fast just say so. It’s normal to have conflicting feelings. On one hand it feels good, exciting, and right in the moment, but when you’re not in that hot and heavy situation you think that ideally you’d like to wait longer. This is pretty much a universal human experience.

    If you both are consenting, then there is no need to feel guilty. That is likely the result of religious programming to control you. Not that all rules are bad – waiting until you’re ready to have sex is super important. It’s easier to tell a religious story to control you than it is to explain nuance and address specifics of unique situations. 15 and 16 are a normal age to start having sexual experiences, but also it is very young and it is also very normal to wait many more years. I first kissed a girl at 15, and didn’t have sex until 19 – and i’m very glad I waited until 19.

    That being said:

    1. Always respect yourself. Are you comfortable? Do you feel enthusiastic about what you are doing? Are you giving consent? Are you verbally asking for consent?

    2. Are you respecting your partner? Is he comfortable? Is he enthusiastic? Is he giving enthusiastic consent? **Is he verbally asking for consent?**

    Just following these rules will save you so much trouble in life and relationships and will absolutely address the guilt issue. As a general rule, if you can’t talk about what you’re doing, you shouldn’t be doing it.

    Consider writing down (like a diary, but doesn’t need to b so formal – just grab some paper and write, you can throw it away after) what happened and how you felt at the time, and how you feel now about it. This will give a lot of clarity and will help address the guilt.

Leave a Reply