We are a 34F and 32M, together for 7 years and recently engaged. We’ve had ongoing intimacy issues that started about 2 years in, and it’s coming from him, not me.
For the past 5 years there’s always been a reason like stress, depression, or past trauma, but nothing has changed. We’re only intimate 2 to 3 times a year. He says it’s not me, but it’s hard to believe when he watches corn but avoids intimacy with me.
I’ve tried to meet him halfway and explained that intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex, but he sees them as the same and avoids both.
It’s affecting my mental health. When I bring it up, he gets defensive or tells me to accept that he loves me in a different way.
He’s even suggested I be with someone else physically and come back, but I don’t want that. I want him.
I don’t want to end the relationship, but I’ve told him we either need to work on this or end it. I feel stuck and would really appreciate advice from people who have dealt with similar libido differences in relationships.