I (20F) have been with my boyfriend (19M) for about 3 years. He’s the first guy I’ve been with, and he’s only been with one other person, so neither of us have a ton of experience.
The issue is that I’ve never let him go down on me or really touch me in that way. We still have a normal sex life otherwise, and I have no problem going down on him. It’s not that I don’t want it either—I even have fantasies about it.
But in the moment, I get really nervous and always say no. He respects it every time, but I end up feeling guilty and kind of ashamed after. Sometimes it even turns me off completely and I don’t want to continue.
I think part of it is insecurity. He once asked if I had cuts my hips,but it was actually stretch marks from gaining weight, and that really stuck with me. Now I worry that if he sees me like that, he’ll think something looks weird or not know what to do. Like i used to be super confident in my self, i had a great body but now i like don’t even take off my shirt cuz i feel disgusting
He’s told me it’s okay and hasn’t pressured me, but I know it’s something he’d like too. And he always try’s to reassure me that i look great to him
Has anyone else dealt with this? Is this something I just need to push through, or is it deeper than that?