I’m curious how other people interpret situations like this especially in your 30s
Since around 2023, I’ve had an on-and-off connection with someone that initially started as what most people would probably call a situationship. Over time, though, it felt like it became a bit more complicated than that.
To be clear, everything between us has always been consensual and mutually understood. There’s strong chemistry and a certain level of comfort when we’re together. When it’s just the two of us, it feels like we can be our real selves without outside judgment, which is probably why the connection has lasted this long.
The complicated part is that in the real world there are other factors involved. He is currently seeing someone else — a woman who is older than him — and that obviously changes the dynamics. Because of that, neither of us has really tried to escalate things or define what this connection actually is.
Despite that, we’ve still had conversations about serious topics like personal values, responsibility, and life in general. Moments like that sometimes make the connection feel deeper than something purely casual, which is part of why it’s confusing.
At the same time, I’ve also realized that my life sometimes feels more peaceful when I stay in my own quiet routine and focus on personal growth rather than stepping back into that “bubble” with him.
So I guess I’m wondering how others interpret something like this.
• Have you ever experienced a connection that lasted years without becoming a real relationship?
• What do you think keeps dynamics like this going for so long?
• If someone is already seeing another person, is it healthier to just fully step away from something like this?
Curious to hear other perspectives.