I was at this drum and bass day festival thingy and I saw a girl standing a few feet away from me while getting drinks. We exchanged looks and smiled so after I got my drinks I walked up to her and started chatting. I left after about 5 mins because I didn't want to linger and the convo was getting a bit dry. I walked into her a few times after and after a few chats the vibe was getting more flirty so I asked her if she had a boyfriend and if I could get her number. She said ‘and then what?’ And I said ‘well I would like to take you out on a date’ and she looked rather hesitantly and then I added, coolly, ‘no is also an answer, don’t worry’ and she said ‘yeah haha I’m not really looking for something right now sorry’ and I said ‘yeah of course no problem, that's why I asked’ and I wished her a good day and then left. But I see this as an absolute win. I never even remotely had the courage to ask for a girls number IRL and even though she said no, it feels like a big step forward.
I have a few male friends who told me afterwards 'bro you shouldn't've said that no was an option, it makes you look insecure and weak'. My lady friends tell me 'It was really good and respectful of you to make her feel safe by adding that she's not obligated to say yes. A lot of women feel pressured in these kind of situations'. And I definitely agree with my lady friends, no doubts about it. Now that I arrive at this point in my post I don't really know what my point is. Idk, just proud of myself that I asked a girls number in public. It feels like a step forward in my journey to meet someone IRL instead of brain dead online dating.