Hey, I’m just looking for someone to help guide me a little. I’m a 24‑year‑old woman, and honestly, I feel like I’m losing hope in finding my forever person or even just a genuinely good guy.
When I was around 18–19, I had a year‑long relationship with someone who really showed me what love was supposed to look like. He took care of me physically, mentally, and emotionally. We had love, care, compassion, communication, and respect. Whenever we had a problem, we talked it out. It ended on good terms the only reason we broke up was because he didn’t want kids and I did.
Since then, I’ve been single and trying to date for four years, and it’s been really hard. I keep running into the same problems. A lot of guys are overly focused on my body. I tell them I’m not comfortable sending nudes and that I’ve had issues with that in the past, but they either get bored, keep begging, or cheat.
Communication is another issue. I try to express my feelings and ask for support, but all I get back are empty “sorrys” or half‑hearted advice.
I’ve worked so hard on myself — I lost a lot of weight, I changed my lifestyle, I even changed parts of my personality and appearance trying to be “better” for men. I don’t sleep around, I protect myself, and I’m not into hookup culture. Honestly, I relate a lot to Cassie from Euphoria, just without using my body for attention.
I just want a healthy relationship again t o love someone and be loved back, to have real communication, to feel comfortable in my own skin and my own race, and not feel like I have to change everything about myself just to be treated right.
Dating has been exhausting. I’ve been through talking stages, situationships, and short relationships that ended in toxicity, lies, cheating, emotional hurt, and even physical hurt. I’ve been called ugly, fat, or “not attractive enough” even though the guys are lesser attractive than me because a lot of people tell me too I’m not trying to be rude but I’m way better looking to be with them but I don’t judge but later realizing they were right .I’ve tried dating apps, speed dating, long distance, even gamer dating. It feels like I pick the wrong guys or look in the wrong places every time.
I know I’m still young, but I want to feel loved, safe, and protected again. I want something real.
I guess what I’m asking is:
How do I move forward without losing hope? What red flags should I look out for? And how do I approach dating at my age when nothing seems to be working?