We been in almost 9 year marriage most of that time sexless. We tried to work it out, but my wife thinks that something medically is wrong with her and needs to check her libido. I tried not to push too much as she gets stressed with work. She does have demanding work and makes way more than I do. I took up most of the housework in display bases as I work from home. Dinners, laundry, kid pickup drop-off, walking dog, soccer practice, school activities…… She tries, but I feel sometimes she avoids small things as she might be bored.
Long story short, I recently found out that she has been looking into ‘not intimate marriage’, ‘attracted to different person’, ‘missing out’, ‘want to be intimate but not my husband’…. I had a suspicion that there may be a chance she was not attracted to me, but she kept denying that could be the case for the low libido when I tried to be more understanding. I have always been the one bringing these discussions up in the past. And always she has limited answers or will say she will see a doctor. But nothing deeper. Lack of answers sometimes pushes me to say something inconsiderate or too emotional. Also, I asked if she wanted to do marriage counseling, but she was not interested.
At this point, I’m not sure what I can do. Thinking about individual counseling first and maybe marriage if she is willing. But I also don’t really want to hold both of us back if she really is done and start having feelings for others. Just asking for advice.