I want to make this short and sweet but there’s some background. We’ve known each other for over a decade and have been sort of off and on mostly flirting and all that though nothing physical ever happened until we actually met up finally. I moved across two states to be with them, gave up a whole life and everything. I’m not blaming them for this choice of mine. I don’t have resentment against them for it, and I only bring it up when they say I’ve never done anything for them.
We fight sometimes and it’s always very heated and I know it’s toxic most of the time but we have been working together and fixing our issues because we both really do want this to work.
However. I feel suffocated. I can’t just be quiet and play on my phone, I have to be engaged in whatever they’re doing at all times. I cannot message people or work without talking to them first or it’s a fight. It’s a fight if I react to them treating me horribly. And every time these fights escalate, they run away to some place around the city on foot. I usually follow, try to find them and talk them out of it after giving them at least ten minutes to calm down a bit because that’s what I would want and what I expect when I ask for it. They don’t say anything and just disappear. I want to stand firm on my newly established boundary of not chasing them and feeling like a psycho stalker, but I also don’t want to be seen by them as not caring where they are or if they are safe. They don’t answer my calls and rarely my texts when this happens.
I know this is rambling and there’s a lot to it. I just don’t know what to do anymore and could use some advice.