Im no stranger to existential crises, but my life has gone through one change after another since early 2025. It’s been like a slow motion marathon that’s just kept going.
I was looking forward to living alone. To cut a long story short, one parent ended up having to stay with me for months. Another parent visited for a holiday soon after. Of the last 6 months, I’ve maybe had around 2.5 months alone (total weeks here and there, not consecutive).
In between, I started a new job with the hopes of reigniting my career. It’s been quite a horrible time mentally, it’s high pressure, demanding, fast paced and genuinely fries my brain. I’m so burntout I’m making stupid mistakes that genuinely don’t make sense, so much so that I’m on the verge of failing probation due to poor performance. I’ve started having mild anxiety attacks being around my manager or going to the office, especially when I’ve messed up. It has felt like I’ve been under a constant microscope.
Because of the stress and pressure, I’ve had barely any time for my own life. Weekends have felt like lunch breaks and when I do have free time, I’m mentally wrecked. My own life has fallen to the side and I don’t know where the last 6 months have gone.
I’m waking up now and feel like I can’t view anything the same, I don’t feel connected to my own life or what I’m doing and in every area it’s like I’m not actually being authentic or able to show up as me. It’s always been ignoring what I actually think, feel or prefer for someone else.
Have you been through similar? How did you navigate the collapse of everything?