I hope I don’t regret asking this. I am a 26yo woman.
I need male advice. I am wondering if it’s possible to like and be building something with someone (slowly) but still sleep with other people? Asking on behalf of myself with a male I am currently confused over. I am in a friend group but me one of the new members to the group have really hit it off. We’re friends first but have been hanging out lots on one one.
I’m talking dinner, movies, walks, lots of driving. There’s a quiet intimacy there, he always saves me the last bite of his food, we share the same AirPods and listen to the same music, he’s touchy and cheeky and flirty but respectful, crazy eye contact! He gets involved in my hobbies and we talk 24/7, we text all the time and call and FaceTime. He recommends and saves and sends things he thinks I’d like. He’s wearing things I point out look nice on men and invited me to join him to go shopping for new shoes as he wanted my opinion.
It’s slow, and of course we are friends and he’s new to the group. There’s a level of risk there. However, to me, the interactions were implying one thing, I felt so certain I wasn’t misreading this. He’d mentioned before about for the right woman wanting to take it slow and soaking up the moments. I felt so certain it was going in a specific direction. I’ve met his mom and his siblings and some friends too, they definitely see a vibe. I honestly really like him and I know I’m down bad.
Anyway, he told me that he’d been back on the dating apps and gone on a date / had a one night stand. This kinda threw me, I’d been speaking to him in the lead up of this and he never told me he’d been on apps / had a date lined up. I feel so blindsided. Not sure if I have a right to care or not. (For context I am not currently dating / on apps, it just isn’t for me).
I’m trying not to be delusional about this situation / live in a fantasy world. There’s an element of risk to our situation especially in being friends but I’m wondering if there’s any hope. Has there been women you’ve liked before that it’s been slow with build in things with? I just feel stuck on where to stand / how to take a step back now. If he continues dating, eventually things are going to have to change as the dynamic and way we interact now, is not compatible with either of us dating other people.
I don’t know if saying something and laying my cards on the table is worth it, or if it’s a lost cause. I feel more embarrassed having potentially misread this entire situation (which seems crazy as friends have read the text messages and seen us together)