apologies if this isn't the right place for this, since I technically won't be married for another few months, but I figured y'all are the best ppl to get advice from.
gonna be honest, I don't actually have much to complain about. my fiancee is beautiful, kind, funny, we share a lot of hobbies and give each other time for the ones we don't share, have great conversations, and even while she's been drowning in PHD work has managed to eke out some time for date nights and sex and contribute to wedding planning. We have similar visions for our future and are willing to talk through any issues we have.
But also, the idea of marrying someone, spending the rest of my life in close quarters with the same person and supporting/leaning on them through everything, is conceptually kinda freaky. We've only been together for four years or so, and I read posts on here and elsewhere about how much people change, and I have no idea how one can prepare for that. I've ever heard that marriage itself can change some people instantaneously. We both put effort into making each other's lives better, but how do I know that things will stay that way? What if something switches off and I get lazier once we're married, or I gain some weight and she loses attraction to me, or we have kids (which we both want) and they turn out to be edgy incels or something? There are just so many things that can go wrong – how do you deal with all the uncertainty of so many years and so many possible changes ahead of you?