Hi.

In my country, usually people (both men and women) address strangers as “brother” when speaking to men, and “sister” when speaking to women, as a sign of respect. They may also call old strangers “mother” and “father”, most women in my country feel uncomfortable talking to male strangers, which is why they usually call male strangers “brother.”

Some people especially men also say “baba” (father), to male strangers even if they are younger than them, as a term of endearment similar to the Latino affectionate term “papi.”

Sometimes cashiers, vendors address me as baba (father) although they they know I am young and younger than them they don't mean it in the literal sense, it is just a term of endearment.

How about the USA?


28 comments

  2. Address people with terms that aren’t gendered or aged.

    Dude, buddy, friend, homie, amigo, you, yinz, y’all.

  5. Whatever you do, do not call any stranger “honey” or “dear”.. People from other cultures seem to think it is it’s acceptable but Americans reserve that term for very close friends or family. Otherwise it just sounds condescending.

    That said, there ARE certain places in the states where people do use those terms freely. So it might depend on your geographical location. But I would still avoid it just to be safe.

  6. Also, say things like “nice shoes!”, “I like your hat!”, and “Shit weather today huh”.

  7. My personal favorite is “well hey ____, how the hell are ya!?” With the overly aggressive handshake.

  10. To your point, I grew up in rural northern Appalachia. It is not uncommon at all to call any old man “Pap” which is what we call our grandfathers. 

  13. Do not call anyone brother, sister or father. That is weird and people will think it is very creepy.

  16. Just say “hi” or “hello” or “How are you”!

    NOTE- Questions like “How are you” are NOT meant to be answered in other than “Good and you”

  17. Calling a man brother, or bro, can work pretty well but you have to be careful to not come across as confrontational in tone. Calling a woman sister is largely very specific to the Black community and I won’t speak on that because I am God’s palest white boy.

    If you called an older man or woman father or mother or any variant thereof and they were not your parents, the best case is they’d think you had mistaken them for someone else. The worst case is probably calling some old guy daddy in public and your week getting REAL WEIRD, REAL FAST.

  18. Brother, bro, pal, buddy(sometimes doesn’t go over well), man, dude, sir, ma’am, miss, girl (only female to female or gay dudes). Bro and dude work with both genders if the relationship is platonic or strangers, but if you’re trying to seduce a girl don’t call her bro.

  19. “Sir” is the safest form of address for men. “Ma’am” is the most direct equivalent for women, but you’ve got to be careful with that one, some women don’t like it (makes them feel old). “Miss” is safer for young women, but you’ve got to be careful with that one too, can come across as sarcastic.

    “Brother” or “sister” can work, but usually not until deeper into a conversation; you might use it after discovering a point of agreement, to denote that you now feel more casual. “I like this place, but the place across the street is better.” “Brother, I heard that!”

    Honestly, there are more ways to go wrong than right with specific forms of address like that. “Excuse me” or “hello” or “hey” works to get someone’s attention, and after that you can say “you,” or if the conversation goes long enough, just ask their name.

    If you speak with a noticeably non-American accent, we’ll generally accept anything that isn’t overtly rude, and just assume that the term of address you’re using is the one that’s polite where you come from.

  20. There are a few region-specific terms of address, as this comment section shows, but overall in the U.S., there is no equivalent to respectfully calling strangers family members. You just say a variation of “Hi” and let the friendliness and respect show in your voice and manner if that’s what you intend to convey.

    If you want to bring up regional terms, I’m in the south and you use “sir” for male strangers older than you and “ma’m” for female strangers older than you. You can also use “sir” for men and boys younger than you if needed, but I haven’t heard that often. I don’t think I’ve heard this lately, either, but there’s also “miss” for women younger than you. It’s important to emphasize that these are regional terms, because in other parts of the country people are actively offended if you use these words.

  21. OP, this is going to vary greatly across so many things. Regions, race, ethnicity, you name it. Some people like to be addressed as “x”, some people hate it. Some people like to be addressed as “y” and some people hate it..

  22. The U.S. just doesn’t do this kind of thing as much, and it can actually get a little complex.

    Like “sir” is generally polite for getting a man’s attention but wouldn’t get used in conversation continually like how other cultures will use “big brother,” or “grandpa” and such.

    “Miss and ma’am” are the woman equivalent but age-based honorifics can be taken as impolite in the Northeast. Perfectly acceptable to call a young woman ma’am in many parts of the country but less acceptable to call a middle aged woman ma’am in the Northeast because it implies she looks old. I go with an age neutral “Ms.” (Mizz) and it’s fine.

    Personally, I don’t use anything at all and wait to match other people’s level of familiarity. I and many people find being addressed with any sort of term by a stranger overly familiar. Like, I don’t particularly like being called “brother” by someone whom I’ve never met.

  23. I feel like no one is answering this well.

    When you greet someone you don’t need to address them with a label to be polite. If it’s a stranger you’re interacting with like a cashier saying “hello” with a smile is perfectly fine but if you want it a little friendlier you can say “Hi, how are you?” If they ask how you are doing first, you would typically ask them back.

    If you’re interacting with a stranger in a social setting you can compliment them, but be careful with the kind of compliment. A man saying “that shirt looks good on you” to a woman is probably going to sound like he’s hitting on her. But “I like your shoes” or “I love your bag” is pretty safe. Really not necessary though to be friendly.

    If you want to be extra polite to someone that’s older or someone you especially want to show respect to, you can say “Ma’am” or “sir”, but it’s not necessarily a sign of friendliness, just respect. For instance, I would say ma’am or sir to a police officer without trying to seem friendly.

    Everything else like buddy, boss, brother, dude is not rude but it’s assuming people don’t find it annoying. Some people like it, some people done. For women I would just avoid terms of address, especially if you’re a man. Some older folks say “honey” or “darlin” but again not everyone likes that and some find it condescending.

    The friendliest thing you can do with a stranger you’re interacting with is be respectful and listen to them intentionally if they’re talking to you.

  26. If you’re in the south (maybe other areas) sir and ma’am are appropriate titles. Excuse me sir you dropped something.

    If you know names and they’re much older than you, you can add mr/miss/mrs/ms. – oddly miss in parts of the south can be applied to any older woman with their first name. My mom has been Miss Susie (not her name…she doesn’t have a bell) since at least the 80s.

    Do not use family titles with anyone who isn’t your family or you have a close relationship with. Unless you’re in some churches where   brother and sister are ok. 

Leave a Reply