I'm sorry this is long, but this story is a bit insane. I am a 32 year old male. The other night I went to the bar to get some food and ran into a couple that I'm friends with. I ended up having a few whiskey drinks and having a buzz, decided that I would go to the only other bar that was open. Now, I am an awkward, submissive and dorky guy that collects retro video games and listens to old school rave/ electronic music. Haven't even kissed a girl since the 2010s. My friend was hanging out with this girl that said she liked my hair, which my mom had cut earlier, and I didn't believe one bit. Apparently though, she wasn't lying. I was way drunker than I should've been at 11 PM on a Monday but we ended up playing pool together, which she was using to entice me. I sloppily and uncaringly played into it and then we took a double shot together. She also had the same name as me which was kind of weird. I asked if she wanted to come outside while I smoke a cigarette and that's when everything lost control.
As soon as we get outside, she throws me against the wall and starts furiously making out with me. I literally met her less than an hour ago. I am NOT used to intimacy of any sort, so I was sort of in disbelief. We do that for a bit and she goes "So. You're taking me home, right?" and I was like "Hold up. Let's take a fuckin' breather." She immediately breaks down crying and according to my friend because I have a foggy memory of this, she tells me "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME THAT YOU WON'T TAKE ME HOME!?" at that point I guess even drunk me knew I stepped into way more than I can handle. After she stops crying, she forces me into more making out which like, this is partially my fault. I'm just kind of powerless to that kind of thing, especially if I'm drunk.
She basically demands me to take her home multiple times to the point that even the bartender stepped in and was like "Dude, he said no. Chill out." So, my friend she was with ends up driving me home. Apparently, I told him I didn't want her knowing where I live and I refused to exchange phone numbers. I should've just walked home and not gotten in the car, but she would've just followed me. So, he gets to my place and she says for the 10th time "You're REALLY not going to go to bed with me tonight!?" and I said "Not tonight, no. Maybe we can get together in a few days and like, get to know each other?" to which she started cussing me out and told me to fuck myself and go to hell and all this. I get out of my friend's car and enter my apartment and turn around to close the door. She followed me in. After telling me she hates me.
So again, more making out. I tried to calm things down and goofily point out my guzheng, a Chinese string instrument I play, thinking she might think it was cool. She just looks at me expectedly and goes "Well!? What are we doing?" So, she throws me on my couch and gives me a lap dance and forces my face into her tits. From my memory, I tell her, "I…. guess this is fine for right now." Then she starts getting WAY too bold and tried to rip my shorts off. I tell her to please calm the fuck down and she starts going to pieces again. Pulls her shirt back up and goes "WHY WON'T YOU TAKE ME!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?" and I tried to explain to her that she cannot force me into having sex when I'm not comfortable. Like, obviously. I know I'm a guy but I am just not the type to comfortably have sex with a crazy wasted chick whose last name I don't know, as stupid as that sounds to a lot of people. I think it's safe to say this girl has like, never been told no in her life.
She tries to leave in a crying fury at like 3 AM and I grab her hand and go "Please. It is so dark and it is so late. You are SO drunk. Please, just let me walk you home or partially there. I won't do anything, obviously. I just want to make sure you're safe." So, we start walking through the park that's literally a minute away from my apartment. She throws me to the ground and pulls her shirt down and forces my head in. Again, right after flipping her shit on me. So, we spend the next hour or so holding hands while walking and making out halfway stumbling into peoples' yards. We get close to her house, and she says "And this is where we say goodbye. You will see me again." and gives me a kiss goodbye. When I woke up yesterday morning, I noticed that she left her fucking bottle of perfume right on my coffee table but didn't leave ANYTHING else. I've heard of this trick.
So yeah, that's where I am with that. I have this girl's perfume, and I feel obligated to give it back to her. Yet I'm terrified. I have never, ever met a girl like that in my life. The thing is though that I am SO physically attracted to her. I looked at her social media though and she is absolutely not my kind of girl. She just seems so dominating and overly promiscuous which is not me in any way whatsoever. Of course, she may have just been drunk and may not actually be as interested in me as she seemed, but I'm really fucking worried of running the risk of actually having sex with her and then her getting WAY too attached to me and as I would see we have no future, end up ruining my own life in the next few weeks while she sneaks into my apartment and destroys my shit or badmouths me and makes me look ridiculous to my friends and family. I live in a small town.
Part of me feels like an idiot and a pussy for not just giving her what she wants, but there are just SO many risks involved with sex. Foreplay is whatever. Sex is a whole different story. Also, we were just too drunk. Even though she was the one dominating me, I would've felt even guiltier than I already did yesterday morning if I had gone through with that. I don't even know this girl's last name and she's 5 years younger than me. Anyway, I know that most people would say to play it safe and keep the fuck away from her, but for a lonely guy like me, it's REALLY hard to not want to seek out a girl that couldn't keep her hands off me no matter where we were.