I’m a 33F, married for 6 years, and I’m still in shock over what I recently discovered.
My husband is currently on a business trip abroad, and yesterday I found messages on his iPad that deeply disturbed me. It appears he has been contacting brothels on Instagram and had even been searching about sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS. I also came across indications that he may have been visiting questionable massage parlours. This was completely unknown to me, and it felt like a major breach of trust.
For the first 3–4 years, our marriage was strong and fulfilling. However, over the past 2.5 years, our intimacy has significantly declined. We’ve gradually become more like roommates, spending time together passively, like watching shows or ordering food, but lacking emotional and physical closeness. I’ve tried to bring this up gently multiple times, but he has never really opened up.
We still show each other affection, there are hugs and kisses and genuine care.
When I confronted him, he denied physically cheating and claimed that he only messaged these women “for kicks.” He also said he never actually went for any massages or brothels. He admitted feeling ashamed and told me he is seeking therapy.
Up until now, he has been a loving, caring, and supportive partner. But this discovery has shaken me deeply. It has made me question whether I truly know him, and what else he might be capable of hiding.