My wife (31F) and I (33M) are having some intimacy issues. It’s mostly stemming from me because I have low self-esteem and confidence. She has expressed to me multiple times that she likes to be dominated, she likes to be called names, told what to do, and loves to be talked down to during sex. I think she might be into some light BDSM. I’m so down for all of that, but when it comes down to it, I freeze and don’t follow through with having sex the way she wants. It’s to the point now where she doesn’t enjoy it as much, and she is getting “familial” vibes towards me. Meaning she feels too safe and comfortable, there’s low tension, there’s low mystery. Essentially, she wants sex to feel spontaneous and dangerous, and because of these underlying issues I have, I can’t get myself there mentally. I tend to get in my head and second-guess myself. I also find it hard to think of stuff to say on the fly. I just started working with a therapist about my self-esteem issues, but I just want to know if anyone out there has gone through the same thing and what tips you all might have. Just for some added context, not sure if this detail is important, but we’re each other’s first. We both had sexual experiences before we met but never all the way.