Context is important here so let me start there. I divorced my ex husband 5 years ago, but we were separated long before, in total apart for 8 years. In those eight years I did not date, did not go out, I focused on healing, working, and taking care of our children. (We have 4 kids together.) We do 50/50 custody, and we co-parent really well together, I am friends with his current wife.
So about year ago, my friends pressured me into a blind date with this guy (40M) I obviously caved, and he has been perfect in literally every single way. Over this last year we have spent a lot of time together, and I really feel like this is the "one." He has been talking about the next step, which is us meeting each other's kids, and he has also said he wants that future with me, and I do too.
Here's the problem. He also has FOUR kids. I love kids, I've always wanted a big family, but I am absolutely terrified at the thought of watching eight kids. Is it even possible? Can one adult successfully watch eight kids? Our kids are literally all the same age. (For example my oldest is 16, his oldest is 15, and so forth with the other 3) I haven't told him I'm scared, he shows no signs at all of being scared too, he seems rather confident actually?)
He is also a really involved father, he gets his 50/50 as well, but the mother of his kids as expressed issues in the past regarding dating me. (I've never met her or their kids but she has blown his phone up asking if he's with me and what we were doing, and where, and he shouldn't be dating someone like me.) Which I have no idea what that means, perhaps someone who also has kids? No idea.
I'm okay with that part of it, maybe if she actually met me she would be more okay with it?
I'm at a loss here. Like I've said, I really, really see a future with this man, I'm okay with obstacles, but I would like to hear some other perspectives too of people that merged into one ginormous family, and perhaps the best way to get the mother of his kids to like me?