I’m (25) (M), My significant other (25) (F) (been together for about 5 months) but she had been out with her brother just to tag along originally, but he ended up mentioning that he’d get us something due to our financial issues currently (which I am constantly on her about because she’s terrible at saving, and I am far more sustained, and efficient yet I don’t judge her I try to help, and support.) She called me to mention, and asked if there was anything I had wanted, and I didn’t say much except for like two things. Of course her brother had offered which I also hated the thought of because I don’t like people buying things for me but I said we do need cheese or whatever, and she mentioned also that he bought us some meat which made me feel even worse due to that same fact. So the call ends, and she ends up home some time later, and I happen to be in the gaming room after having taken the dogs out, and tidied some when I heard her come in so I immediately left the gaming room to greet her, and hug her but as that initiation was happening she had apparently gestured to the meat she had just gotten on the stove, and said her brother got us meat (I didn’t noticed the gesture I just acknowledged the words), and apparently left it there on the stove. Me being me I was more focused on her arriving, and loving on her. NOTE, I have extremely terrible adhd so when I focus on a singular thing it tends to be the only thing I’m focused on so I was directed towards the hug, and greeting not paying attention to her arms gesturing. She had said in specific wording “my brother got us meat”, and then that was that. I happened to return to the gaming room, and hung out in there again for a bit when she came in, and told me she wasn’t feeling well due to her having eaten something gluten when she’s gluten free. I said “oh no, are you feeling okay” and she had gone on about it for about a minute, and said she needed to lie down. I was like okay, sure, I’m gonna be in here, and usually when this happens I’m just aware of how she’s felt, and she lies down, and there’s not much else that goes on. She lies down, and An hour and a half passes so I decided to get up, and just go into the kitchen just to notice that the meat her brother had gotten was completely gone, and the remains of the container were on the floor. Now in my head I was like “OH, no”, and immediately started cleaning it because I was under the assumption “well, that’s gone, might as well clean it up, and she didn’t feel well, I don’t wanna wake her so I’ll let her know what happened when she wakes up.” Mind you we had just grocery shopped a SHIT ton the day before so we didn’t even need what her brother had gotten us but it was nice of him, And so after cleaning it up I just go back to the gaming room, and do my thing. About another hour passes by, and I hear her basically yelling, and then she comes into the room saying they ate the meat, and so I calmly informed her that i knew, and was gonna tell her when she woke up because I knew she didn’t feel well so I didn’t wanna wake her. WELL, she immediately went to saying that I should’ve woken her up, and that her brother bought it for us, and that I couldn’t have simply just woken her up, and made it out to seem as though I was responsible for the dogs eating the meat when she had come home, and immediately left it on the stove rather than put it in the fridge/freezer really quick. So me still being me, I remained calm, and just told her I wasn’t aware you put it on the stove but I was aware you mentioned he had gotten us meat, and so she immediately goes from calm to yelling at me (mind you again I have serious trauma from being yelled at) saying that “ I couldn’t have simply said anything, and woken her up” as if waking her up would’ve made her less mad or prevented her from yelling at me. Regardless yelling is not justifiable if you’re in a relationship. You can speak to each other like normal human beings. Of course she continued on basically speaking about how I never listen, and that I could’ve done one simple thing, and that I never say anything to make it better but I’m quick to defend myself, and try to be “right”. Which idc if I’m right or wrong, but I’m going to defend myself, and acknowledge when I’m not responsible for someone’s lack of accountability, and when I reach my point I’m quick to mention that. I said “why did you leave it on the stove? I figured you would’ve put it into the fridge/freezer” and of course it being a simple response she didn’t like that, and then continued to get louder, and stem from the original argument to multiple things outside of it saying that I do absolutely nothing to help, which I do indeed help. Constantly. For a bit at the start I didn’t, and I own up to it, and have done nothing but reshaped, and put towards how much I could help, but it seems as though every argument that arises in the future always ropes back to the same topic or argument, and it gets tiresome. I’ve done nothing but do what’s best for both her, and I, and have done more than I could sustain mentally to keep her afloat, and myself, yet I still hear the same remarks? I am not by any means a perfect person, and I’ve dealt with a lot in terms of life trauma, and past relationships but the moment I choose to speak myself, and hold my opinion, and belief high as well as protect myself then I’m “not listening” or “always trying to be right” or “not doing anything to help”. This has been recurring for a little while, and I’ve mentioned that if she doesn’t change how she speaks to me or at least tries to work on her own difficulties when I’m working on all mine day by day, an have SHOWN it to her, then I will leave, and of course that is used against me also. So, am I wrong? I understand where there’s a false sense of communication but I do nothing but try, and communicate with her but it always leads to an argument because she thinks I’m trying to attack her, or be right when all im doing is literally speaking