Meaning people don’t want to go on regular planned dates to get to know someone, it seems as though most people today want relationships to start from casual hookups and no pressure or expectations, having sneaky hookups with the same person 3 nights a week for a year before going out on a public date, getting to know someone over a long period of time in a relaxed not-confrontational way like school or work before going on a date, texting someone who lives 10 minutes away from you for 6 months before meeting in person…

Why can’t we just fall into feelings anymore? where is the effort, why can’t consistent public dates before sex be normal any more…the woman who he has to take on dates for weeks or months before sex isn’t as fun for him as a woman who he sees in his own free time whenever he wants past midnight in his bed and leaves before the sun rises putting no pressure on where things are going or where they are now

… it just makes me so sad. the hopeless romantic in me is crying. I just want to see a nice guy outside, have a fun conversation, go on a date, then go on more dates…arcades, hikes, the zoo, park picnic… 😞 but I’m met with nothing but “it takes me a long time to fall in love” without them ever actually giving me the damn time…

edit: this isn’t to say that people don’t want relationships anymore, I just think that the way they want the relationships to start is really disappointing. they want absolutely 0 pressure or expectations for an undefined amount of time before they actually give the person a chance to genuinely get to know them before the relationship is “real” and public


9 comments

  1. No literally, I feel this so much. People want access, intimacy, and comfort without real intention or effort

    And honestly, I’m one of those people who would rather wait until marriage, so maybe that’s why modern dating feels so empty to me

    Wanting real dates and a genuine connection before anything physical should not be rare

  2. I don’t know, but I still date ‘normally’. Like go on cute first dates like playing pool then a dive bar bingo night, or going for a walk and taking pictures together, or for a bike ride/rock climbing. I don’t have any sneaky links and all the casual sex I’ve had has been with someone I’m going on dates with and have interest in something potentially more serious. 25F

  3. That’s what it feels like. I feel like I have to absolutely kill it on the first date or else I might as well give up. Like if we don’t kiss or even hold hands by the end of the first, it’s over!

  4. Call me old school, cold fashioned, hell just call me old. I’m mid 40’s, done a LOT of internal work to better myself, been single a very long time, and I just want to go on a date with a decent, respectful person who won’t have a tantrum because I don’t talk about sex or put out straight away. I’m tired of trying. If one more person tells me that I deserve better and who I know I am I’m probably going to self combust. I know who I am and that I deserve respect, but where the hell is it living?

  5. Sadly this is true because sex comes so easily for both men and women in this day and age. No one has to do the courting and the wooing to get to that part anymore. 

  7. > where is the effort, why can’t consistent public dates before sex be normal any more…the woman who he has to take on dates for weeks or months before sex isn’t as fun for him as a woman who he sees in his own free time whenever he wants past midnight in his bed

    Not to judge, but do you show up and make actual effort. Do you also initiate and plan stuff? Because the effort is a two-way street. And as a man, I’m always going to avoid the one-sided kind of relationship.

  8. I’m convinced the MCAT is easier than dating (I got a 98th percentile score but can’t figure ts out)

  9. So tired of the sexualization lately. Where are these men getting the balls to immediately ask for tits and ass pics??? Like fuck off. Go watch porn. Such little effort, its kills my hope too.

Leave a Reply