Am i good for dealing with the sht i deal with?? :’) i don’t really need advice, just a listening ear. I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a year and a half now and it’s honestly been nothing but terrible. When we first met, we had alot of fun. Honestly, it should’ve just been a one and done thing cuz he needed a wedding date, but for whatever reason, we continued dating and now I’m stuck in a life of pure hell. When I met him, I was upfront about the fact that I had an OF. I said i wasn’t active or on it anymore, but i missed the part that it was deleted. I ended up deleting it 2 weeks after we met. I had already been inactive on it for over a year, changed my hair color since then so there was 0 updated content for a long time. That was truthful enough for me, but not for him. He’d pry and ask what my username was and try to scrounge the internet for me, really weird, i thought what i told him was enough because it was enough for me. One day he found my old leaked nudes and from then on, i knew it was going to be bad. I’d be ridiculed at work, he’d constantly go through my phone and laptop. He’d rummage through my apartment looking for “clues” for whatever reason, i was always lying and cheating. Even while sitting next to him. He has an extensive history of drugs and alcohol that i wasn’t fully aware of til we already moved in together (stupid yes, im aware.) He had his license suspended from his second DUI while we first started dating and was still driving around, red flag. When we moved in together, he told me to quit my job and that he’d take care of me and i could be his secretary for his plumbing business. I agreed like an idiot and of course a month in, we both had catastrophic car issues. I ended up renting a truck that he took for work and got his 3rd DUI and totaled it in, all under my name a month to the date after getting his license back. Since then, he’s been so hard to deal with. I went back to work full time and put every penny towards our “bills” which ended up funding his Adderall addiction. If he doesn’t have Adderall, he will sleep and eat everything in the house and nothing else for an entire week. It used to be here and there but now it’s every other week, if not, shorter. I also go to school full time and take care of our dog and I’m the only person who cooks and cleans. I came home from work yesterday after leaving at 3:30pm to come back at 1:30 am to him never taking the dog outside the whole time i was gone. The icing on the cake was him picking me up from work in my car the other day and starting an argument that i bring all these guys home to cheat and make breakfast for. I bought Irish potatoes and he was like “how did these make it past me? You’re cooking men breakfast and having them buy it for you to make along with gifts, you never buy anything for yourself.” The said breakfast was dragon fruit skin and a package of turkey bacon i went through in 4 days in the trash and had the receipt with my card number on it. He proceeded to rip the house apart for other “boobie traps” he set up for me that i allegedly moved. He was also infuriated by my vibrator i left out to charge because we haven’t had sex in a year and i have needs too…. We also have multiple cameras surrounding the house and entry ways, so there’s no possible way i could even bring anyone here, not that i want to cuz it’s a shithole, i don’t even invite my friends here. But im “shady” and have my ways. I don’t have time or the mental or emotional capacity to cheat. Im such a shell of who i used to be. Not to mention, he ALWAYS has my car. Idk where tf he thinks I’m going bc i would never take public transportation and if i wanted to uber, he’d see the transaction on his bank account. Im so exhausted between having so much on my plate outside of my relationship and then the hell that is my relationship. Our relationship died long ago, but i still would try. We’ve been dead broke but id still find ways to make Christmas and birthdays happen, but that courtesy didn’t extend to me. I know hes not cheating but he never comes home, just stays at his shop. I’m miserable and mean to him but considering the facts amongst the way he treats me and talks to me, hasn’t showed me any affection in a year, i think any woman would be a miserable bitch too. I only stayed at this point cuz i established my life here. If i move back home, its an hour and 30 min away from everything i built for myself here. He had my bank acct sent to collections from over drafting it by paying his bills, not even mine, and now i have horrible credit and no bank account of my own. After being gone from his fake bullshit drama for 5 days; he came back and said i need to take a polygraph because he thinks im lying. This has been his solution for pretty much everything, which is insane. I’m just so beat and defeated and want to give up on my life. I dated someone before him who was honestly the exact same just minus the business owner part and was extremely physically abusive. I feel so small. Would love to hear words of encouragement of any kind :’( thanks