It feels like the only options left are dating apps and speed dating. At hobby groups, everyone’s either taken it’s all men, or the women who are single aren’t interested, and friends of mine don’t know anyone single, and I think that’s less commonplace these days.
It’s difficult sometimes.
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Yeah I’ve been ghosted after the last 5 dates I’ve went on and they all ended with “that was great you’re amazing, let’s hang out again soon!” Not sure what I’m even doing wrong at this point lol. Just keep grinding bro you’ll break through. Keep throwing mud till it sticks.
It’s an absolute dumpster fire. Wish there was a way to report people abusing apps and get them banned.
The day we start normalizing not ghosting people is the day we move forward as humanity. People have lost the empathy for others and instead of being upfront they choose to take the easy way out which is ghosting. I hate it I absolutely freaking hate it.
I had no trouble dating in 2024 or 2025 when I was doing the majority of the heavy lifting when it came to making plans for dates and whatnot. It led to me dating a lot of slackers unwilling to put in an iota of effort, so my new year’s resolution was to try less with men. It’s almost April, and I haven’t had a single second date because almost nobody has looked like their actual pics. The people that do look like theirs, don’t usually end up following through with setting up a first date so it goes nowhere.
I feel like I’m going to die alone unless I’m willing to get married to another slacker who rarely, if ever puts in any effort, and I’m unwilling to make that mistake again.
I just hate the matching and that fine line between pen pals and going on dates. Subsequently being judged on the speed that one asks to go on a date, much like the 48 hours thing to call back before the apps. I really rely on a dry sense of humor that is hard to translate over text and not being able to see their body language. Also judged on how quickly getting off the app to a phone number. Not knowing that she’s juggling 5 or 6 different guys along with you as well. We usually have a good xonvo the first night and then its literally radio silence and when you continue to text, with no answers then it looks like you’re a clingy nightmare. So many women that match and all of this happens and you really have no choice but to just forget about them and keep being single. Sucks and I’ve almost given up on it. Not to mention, given my age range, so many women with kids. Which is all m fine and dandy but when they got divorced did they have such a piece of an ex that they had to get divorced or did they do something that made the man initiate the divorce even when they had kids? They have a 26 year old kid and its not a step dad type situation but I’m like 10 years older than the kid and the kid is out of the house but that dynamic, even when she says nbd, does seem like something they’d resent their mom for when meeting the 38 year old that showed up to her bday with and being the dude banging the mom.
I stopped using dating apps and instead tried mutual connections like meeting my friends girlfriend’s friends. But that kinda thing is only possible at parties but now at the age of mid 20’s, no one really throws parties. So I don’t know how it’s possible
They’ve over saturated the market and gamified dating for profit to get you addicted to the act of likes and matches. Turns out going on multiple dates with multiple people to play the field is extremely expensive and burns you out fast. Idk it’s honestly easier to just be single. I can do everything I want all the time, I can see my female friends to go workout at the gym whenever without drama (not that there has been, but I know there’s potential with insecurity), I can stay far more regimented and goal oriented on my own. Plus if and when you ever fuck up in life, it’s significantly easier to bounce back considering you’re the only person being impacted. As soon as you involve someone else or a family, you’re forcing yourself to take significantly less risks. I don’t mean bad risks, I mean just.. risks that could benefit your future but if the backfire could be bad.
My friend set me up with her boyfriend’s friend. It worked for us, but prior to this, previous set ups hadn’t worked out. I completely agree it’s really tough. But please hang in there, and keep asking people if they know anyone. It just takes that one right opportunity to hopefully lead to something! I recommend this method because my partner and I didn’t judge each other right off the bat meeting this way. We cared less about things like looks and superficial impressions, and now we truly love and appreciate everything about each other.
Otherwise, if I were single I’d also probably try the apps again. I was never on there very often. while it’s definitely hard, it’s possible to meet someone on there.
And like, it would be better to experience all of this in 1996 without the internet??
Absolutely same situation. I’ve been really adamant on finding someone irl, the “organic” way, and there are genuinely no options. Taken or uninterested, everyone. Feel you, man. I’ve got to get on the apps too. I’ve got some friends who met success there.
I hate to say it, but we all gotta get outta the house. I need to get out of the house!
That’s why I’ve decided to just be single if things don’t work out with my current partner. In fact I’ve even decided as far as to go 4B. I don’t like the guys where I live.
Lady I was talking to was busy one week, I suggested a date and time the following to which she agreed. Gets to the day of and I msg to confirm.. she states she is sick and asks to postpone, sure no worries. Three days later I ask how she’s feeling and she’s doing a lot better. She’s asks what I’ve got on for the week and here’s me hoping she suggests a new date as she had to postpone.. nope. So I prompt her if she’s free on the weekend, she states she may have tentative plans and she will confirm with me that day. Nope never gets back to me. The chats always go cold and I have to reignite them 3 days later. No drive or effort to have a first date. Think I’m gonna leave it there and not chase. Gotta love it!
I am a hopeless romantic at heart, I guess because I’ve been in 2 really wonderful relationships but both happened when I was young… now I’m 34 and have been single for over half a decade. I’ve gone on many dates but it’s so hard to find what I’m really looking for.
I recently quit apps because it seems like our desire for connection is being turned into a product, and that’s fundamentally out of sync with how dating works.
The apps are a third party, and the way they work right now is that they insert themselves as the primary partner in whatever connections you make or are seeking to make. It’s devilish, but they are not for making friendships they are for making money.
I think dating is possible because when I sit back and ponder I remember that soooOoooOoooo many people are looking for love in the world. I just want to enjoy my life, and not go in search of something that seems to me to be inevitable.
Yeah same. Feels like there aren’t many real ways to meet people anymore.
My hobby groups are mainly women; mine and yours should meet, lmao
We need to normalize approaching people again. I’ve started doing it. Fuck it. If they think I’m creepy that’s on them. I’m just living my life. Telling people I think they are attractive or finding something in common. My next step is to approach women who wave back after I wave. I’m done playing the shy game.
I think it’s ok to feel this way sometimes, like wishing you had someone by your side. But I think what might be better in the current dating climate, is to decenter dating. Make your interests, career, community, friendships the main focus. And who knows, be open but not hyperfocused, I’ve been told. So far I’m just moving through life nurturing my friendships and it’s been good for me (I’m 40F).
You’re not alone. Dating is easier to access now but way more exhausting and disposable at the same time.
I’m how the kids say… cooked haha
I’m in my 30s, single mom, two jobs and hit the gym often… no time for going out to meet people… and the dating apps… yea, those things are exhausting af.. the amount of curveballs I’ve been thrown has been insane. I’ll stick with my solitude…. I guess
Man, 33, immigrant living alone in a foreign country, which makes things much harder. My only intention when dating is to find a partner with whom sharing a life, eventually start a family.
It took me roughly one year and about 150 applications to find a job, going through emotional burnout and economic struggle. Feels like dating is just exactly the same.
Since last september, I have lost the count on the dates I have been, but roughly I had one first date each week. Among them:
– The vast majority were a nice conversation with no 2nd date or follow-up.
– Some developed even into a 3d, but things faded either because of busy life or because the ‘spark’ didn’t show up.
– Some gave me a polite, clear rejection after a 2nd or 3d date.
– Some even developed into romantic situationships, but she started ghosting or acting weird when things started to stabilize. That was emotionally draining, but a great lesson in the long term.
So yes, actively dating in 2026 feels like walking on eggshells. You end up meeting people without any hope, just to avoid the feeling of “having missed” a possible match. Also, dating feels horrible and de-humanizing because it involves seeing people as “options” or “possibilities” rather than as human beings with their own stories behind.
Among the things I have learned so far:
– Always be kind and upfront about your relationship expectations. People’s time and emotional bandwith have limits.
– Be aware that “the perfect person doesn’t exist”. Conversational chemistry and routines are more important than hobbies or general taste in a relationship.
– Judge people by their actions: most profiles on dating apps show an idealized self of a person, not the reality behind them.
– In 2026, many people say in dating apps that they’re looking for a serious relationship, but act the opposite. This is just because writing down “All I want is a few one-night stands” is still socially incorrect nowadays, or in case they bump into people they know in real life.
– Even if it sounds cruel, don’t get too emotionally invested in someone until they’ve proved to show up consistently.
– Avoid the following: emotionally unavailable people (busy ones, moving ones…) and people with non-secure attachment styles (avoidant, anxious). You want to be someone’s partner, not psychiatrist.
Yeah, I’ve also tried the hobby group and friend route, usually everyone is already taken or not really looking to date. Not much response to my small talk or even getting eye contact in everyday situations. It’s exhausting. So I am back online. At least the intentions of most people become clear in the beginning. I don’t take the texting and calls too seriously and just move on if a conversation doesn’t lead to a date within a week or two. Also, some apps are working better. For me, on Luxy and Hinge I got dates lately.
Don’t forget the added pressure of constantly presenting your best self on social media for potential dating partners to see. It’s like a never-ending audition for a relationship.
>At hobby groups, everyone’s either taken it’s all men, or the women who are single aren’t interested
I belong to a pretty large (and nerdy) hobby group. And, the majority of the people there are men. So, you would think that that would be perfect for me, a single woman. Right? Wrong!
At least 5 different guys (so far) have expressed interest in me. But, none of them are viable options because they all have some combination of the following characteristics:
1. Emotionally unavailable
2. Physically unattractive (imho)
3. Toxic
4. Have an avoidant attachment style
5. Unsure about what they want
6. Flirt with every single girl in the group
7. Don’t want to commit to anything (long term or monogamous)
8. Hyper focused on sex and talk about women like we’re sex objects to be conquered
9. Too shy to shoot their shot (which usually indicates insecurity that will force me to do the emotional heavy lifting in the relationship, which is exhausting)
10. Think that they shouldn’t have to put any effort into a relationship (i.e., they think that women who expect romance, special attention, and reciprocity have unreasonably high standards).
yeah man hobby groups are where 90% of people meet, tough luck