we have only been married 9 months. together for 4 years. we’re both 32. I’ve never ever had issues finishing with him until the past couple months. he does/did everything right (or so I thought?) and sex was always amazing. The emotional connection we have/had is what really seals the deal in the bedroom.
lately though he’s changed a little bit. he will mess around with me (grabbing/smacking my butt, playing with my boobs for 10+ minutes at a time, dry humping me, all the sorts of foreplay stuff throughout the day and week, but then he won’t initiate sex, and I keep finding him touching himself in the mornings when we get up and he’s even admitted doing it at work on break(in bathroom). he swears up and down he doesn’t watch p0rn. (he has issues with it the first year of our relationship but it had seemed to be resolved quickly back then)
im getting VERY frustrated, sexually, and mentally because he keeps hyping ME up and getting me hot & bothered for WEEKS but then he just walks away and doesn’t follow ALL the way through OR he will let me get him off (I enjoy giving oral to him often) / he will doggy style me until he finishes then just goes about his day, leaving me hanging.
so lately I’ve found he will just get himself off first and be done Or ** sometimes/rarely** he will try to do oral on me to finish me but my issue is that when he does this…. I am SO turned off and almost disgusted with him. it instantly pisses me off and I can’t enjoy it at all and don’t want him touching me anymore, and I can’t finish. he’s good at oral; that’s not the issue. And he always got me off first to make sure I was satisfied.
So yeah I’ve found myself really horny and wanting sex…but when we get into it I’m just instantly expecting disappointment every time so it’s like I turn myself off/out of the mood. I want it but at the same time I’m so frustrated to the point where I don’t want it anymore. I’ve spoken with him about this but he doesn’t really do anything And comes up with random excuses – for example this morning I got up to use the bathroom and he was in there jerking, he said “I didn’t want to make you roll over so I could stick it in“ like… really? I was awake – I was just resting before getting up and out of bed, and he knows he is more than welcome to wake me up in a sexual way If I’m sleeping. I feel used rather than wanted, and the deep connection and passion we had in bed before isn’t there anymore.. is it me? Him? Both of us? talking with him isn’t helping and I’m scared I’m just going to lose all desire for him soon. any solutions???