I did everything you said.

I finished my degree.

I picked up a hobby

I got into great shape.

I developed a fashion sense

I created a business that pays over 6 figures

I got my own place

I became a better listener.

I work hard on behaving ethically

All of these things dramatically improved my life and I am super glad I did all of them.

However none of these things improved my dating life like commenters seemed to imply. I feel like I check a lot of boxes for what people say they want, yet people still don’t show much interest.

It makes me wonder if theres a gap between what people say they value and what actually creates attraction.

I’m not saying self improvement is useless, it clearly isn’t, I just struggle to see how that translates to attraction.


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