Bit of context: I am a 24 year old male living in a capital in Europe. I have had 0 friends/girlfriend during entire high school and university. It was due to an insane level of anxiety, no self-confidence at all, very poor communication skills, and shy personality. I had 0 positive role models (mostly negative) regarding social situations growing up: my father is probably on the spectrum, has no friends, is very-very awkward in social situations; my mother has average social life, but she is a very negative person, and she was insanely overprotective, discouraging me from every kind of opportunity that would challenge me in childhood. I have moved out from my parents' house 3 years ago, when I was kinda rock-bottom socially. From then I had the agency to live on my own, so I tried to participate in social events. It was a very awkward, shameful process, but I have improved a lot since then in terms of social skills, confidence, etc.
But one persistant issue was the lack of opportunities to make lasting social connections. The following problems arised at the social activities I have tried:
– Age: very different age group than me (often 35+ years olds)
– Fluctuation: I see a different people at each occasion
– Rarity: the event may only be held once a month.
I have tried the following events that I can recall:
– Multiple English language clubs
– Multiple board game clubs
– Multiple running clubs
– Volunteering: sandwhich making for homeless people, sport/math contest organization, political stuff
– Hiking group
– Gym
– Multiple martial art gyms
Out of all these only one english club had none of the 3 issues that I have mentioned (age, fluctuation, rarity), but I don't really click with the people there. Martial arts didn't have those issues either, but I kinda gave up on martial arts.
Can you guys recommend me something that maybe worked in your case? I am thinking about bouldering, maybe taking up some dance classes, but I dont expect much from those tbh, lol. Or maybe you can give some other related advice, I am kinda cooked on this whole topic.