I am a 19 year old woman i know a 29 year old man and i want to be friends with him. i have zero friends right now and i didn't have many throughout my life so i don't know what adults do together or how to ask to be friends.

im in a situation where we can't really naturally build a friendship naturally and the only chance i have is if i have a conversation and tell him that i want to be real friends and hang out. I am kinda socially awkward and i am not 100% sure how much he likes me as a person because I can't twll if he actually wants to talk as much as we do or if he's just being nice and professional.

I have expressed that I enjoy being around him and have shown that I like him by making jokes or references to things he's told me, and getting him gifts. but I have not really said anything about being friends yet.

questions:

  1. is it normal, as an adult, to just ask if somebody wants to be friends? or to tell them you want to be friends?

  2. how should I phrase my invitation? should I ask specifically to do something together? or should I just say something like, "I have a lot of fun talking to you and I want to be friends with you" ?

  3. would a 29 year old man typically feel comfortable being friends with a 19 year old woman? there is zero chance that he feels any other way about me, and my intentions are100% platonic. but I know that age gap friendships can be weird for people. but he is sort of childlike (in a good way) and we have a lot in common. but should I even try or is this too drastic?

  4. are there any tips in general for expressing this kind of vulnerability and talking about feelings with people you don't have a close relationship to? I am not going to mention that I don't have any friends and I feel extremely lonely but I am horrified that I'll open up about wanting to be closer and be real friends and then he says "well, I don't want to" or even worse gets really creeped out and gets upset.

  5. in the situation that I get rejected for being friends, how would I approach this in general? both in the moment and afterwards, like what should I say if he says no? would it be normal to just say "thats okay" and then apologize and then say bye?


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